Her Daughter

She says, "It's what's on the inside that counts," but she's always on a diet that will never work because she eats chocolates when she's depressed and she won't go anywhere without perfectly applying her lipstick.

She says, "The right one will love you for who you are," but every time another one stops calling, she wonders what is wrong with her and she believes the right one hasn't found her because she's fat.

She also says, "You shouldn't need anyone to make you happy." But when her phone rings in the grocery store, the world falls away from her face and she wheels her cart in slow motion up and down the aisles, talking animatedly and smiling into her phone, oblivious to the food on the shelves and the aggravated shoppers trying to get around her.

This one just started calling again. This one is the one she had thought was the one. They had been on and off before. She said he wasn't ready for commitment.

When she told her daughter that he had just stopped calling, her face crumbled and she asked through tears, "What's wrong with me?" and it was the saddest thing her daughter had ever seen and her daughter held her and hated the man who had done this to her. Her daughter was glad when it ended for good-he wasn't good for her.

Her daughter swears she won't be like her. Her daughter doesn't want to care what she looks like, because it's what's on the inside that counts. But her daughter stops eating to lose weight and tries to buy more flattering clothes so that the right one will love her for who she is. Her daughter swears she doesn't need anyone to make her happy but she goes out with the first boy who asks her because someone finally asked her.

She tells her daughter how good she looks and is jealous of the weight she has lost. She's still on a diet and she still eats chocolate before she goes to bed.

She knows she shouldn't need anyone to make her happy but she's turning 50 and is afraid to end up alone.

And now he's back. Fresh out of a relationship with another woman-it turns out he wasn't afraid of commitment with her. But it didn't work out with the other woman, and the engagement ring has been returned now.

He wonders what went wrong, he wonders if he screwed it up.

He says that he knows he screwed up with her, and he feels terrible about it.

She tells her daughter he's hurt and confused and that they're just friends but her daughter knows that isn't true, knows that they're more than just friends.

Her daughter is worried and thinks that she shouldn't take him back so easily. But her daughter won't say anything because she wants her to be happy and hopes that this time he will stay. Her daughter wishes she could make him stay.

Her daughter starts to realize that she doesn't like the boy she's dating. She likes talking to him and spending time with him. She thinks that they have really amazing conversations, but he complains that she never kisses him and the truth is that she doesn't really want to. She wonders why she doesn't feel anything when he kisses her. She's afraid it's her.

They talk on the phone all the time and see each other almost every day and though she never felt alone before, she's not sure she wants to go back to being single. Her daughter has seen what single looks like.

At home, her mother still says they're just friends but they're talking every day now and she has acquired a happy glow. She complains that she has nothing to wear out with him because she's fat and nothing fits. She asks her daughter to help her pick out an outfit, but her daughter says she's too busy. Finally dressed, she asks how she looks but her daughter is starting to hate that her mother needs reassurance and says half-heartedly, "You look good."

Her daughter feels kind of bad when she sees the look on her mother's face but not bad enough to take it back.

Her daughter is picked up by her boyfriend and they have nothing to do but drive around and park in an empty parking lot. She keeps the conversation going as long as possible, looking at him sometimes but more often out the window.

She thinks she's discovered that if she doesn't make eye contact, then he won't try to kiss her.

When the conversation fails, he wants to move into the backseat. She doesn't touch him at all but she doesn't stop his hands from roaming and she feels uncomfortable but she kind of likes it too.

Then he slips his hand up her skirt, but she says, "no" and so he stops. But then he tries to do it again and this time she doesn't say no but jerks her body away, but he doesn't seem to notice until she pushes his hand away.

Later he says that she didn't say no, but she reminds him she did the first time. He admits that she's right; he says that he's sorry; he says that he forgot.

She feels dirty and ashamed and she wants to talk to her mom but she doesn't want anyone to know.