A Cheerio To British Culture

Guy Fawkes Day is a particularly exciting time of year for me because a) It gives my Anglophilic self an excuse to act exceptionally British every November 5, and b) it allows me to impose these geeky pastimes on everyone reading my Cowl section this week. Don't get me wrong: I am without question a full-fledged baseball-watching, hot dog-pounding, Miller-swilling American. But it's been 200 years since we kicked their crooked toothy asses in the Revolution, so I'd say it's about time that we give those Brits some of the credit that they rightfully deserve. One realm in which the Brits have tremendously influenced American culture is with their vast contributions to music. The British Invasion brought us some of the greatest musical innovations of all time, and its effects still resonate within American music to this day. Many of today's most popular rock artists credit The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, The Clash, or even The Zombies as some of their premier musical influences. Another one of the most undeniably infectious qualities of those bloody Brits is their dry wit and distinctive humor. This type of dry wit appeals to the sadist in all of us. Not to mention the fact that the British pioneered sketch comedy with the timeless and unforgettable Monty Python comedic troupe. The same type of dry wit can be found in Douglas Adam's hilarious, ironic, and utterly absurd Hitchhiker's Guide series, as well as in the literature of British ex-patriate Bill Bryson. An additional aspect of British culture that cannot be ignored is that glorious bastion of first-rate entertainment, the BBC. The British Broadcasting Corporation is a paragon of publically-funded television; it broadcasts some of the most premium and powerful entertainment that will ever grace your television screen-all without commercial interruption. The BBC brought Doctor Who into my life; for that reason I am forever debted. Not to mention that the BBC introduced us to Ricky Gervais's comic genius through shows like Extras and The Office. An additional facet of British culture that boasts immense superiority to our own is the pub culture. The sheer superiority of British drinking culture leaves even the most red-blooded American hanging his head in shame. Whereas in America we are taught from a young age to avoid the demon booze at all costs, the U.K. has adopted an enlightened liberalism in its social policies. America needs to get with the game. Drinking isn't meant to be a clandestine affair confined within roach-infested basements. It's meant to be a matter of family, friends, and general merriment. Finally, I would be remiss to neglect mentioning the ever-sexy British accent, a form of enunciation which will quite literally charm the pants off of any Yankee gal who's got functioning ears. Not only is the accent heart-meltingly irresistible, but so is that endearing British vernacular. I've tried applying words like "bloody" and "sodding" in my own life. For funsies. Except it usually (always) ends up in failure (derision and tears). I guess that's one thing I'll have to leave to the Brits. There's no way around it. For all the above reasons, and many more, the U.K. is bloody brilliant.

A Final Note

England also blessed us with James Paul McCartney, a god among. I dare you to convince me otherwise. He is the one beacon of perfection among that stormy and contemptible sea that we call humanity. Amen.