Can You Pass the Flavor Test?

Have you ever wondered what tastes were hidden behind the doors of perception? We did. And with the help of Miracle Berries, we ripped those doors right off their hinges. We tasted what lay behind…and it was good…for the most part.

The miracle fruit plant (Synsepalum dulcificum), native to West Africa, produces a berry that when consumed causes bitter and sour foods to be temporarily perceived as sweet. The active chemical present in the flesh of the fruit is an active glycoprotein molecule, with trailing carbohydrate chains, called miraculin. These molecules bind to the taste buds allowing the tongue to perceive sour tastes as sweet.

While the exact science of the effect is still unknown, it is generally believed that the miraculin blocks the function of the sour and bitter taste buds and allows the sweet taste buds to perceive acids (like citric acid) and bitter tastes as sugars.

An attempt to commercialize the active chemicals in the fruit was made in the 1970s but the effort failed miserably. There was some controversy surrounding accusations that the effort had been sabotaged by the sugar industry to prevent widespread use of the berries, resulting in a drop in sugar demand. In recent years there has been a push for FDA approval (yes, it still isn't FDA approved) as a food additive and dietary supplement. There have been no advances made so far.

After hearing about this miracle fruit, I was inspired, in the model of the late, great Ken Kesey, to organize for our humble paper a flavor trip, for the sake of bringing the Miracle Berry to the masses. And with the approval of our fearless editor, Mary Microgram, we set out on the first Cowl Taste Trials, with eager anticipation and Merry Prankster names all around.

For our trip, I procured 35 grams (10 normal doses or five high-strength doses) of Miracle Berry in tablet form from www.ThinkGeek.com at a cost of $20.00. Tablet form is the most convenient and economical. Though live potted plants are available in Connecticut through specialty greenhouses for a moderate price, the berry is relatively difficult to procure cheaply.

Eight participants were recruited from our more than willing staff. Doses of 1.75 grams were dispensed to six of the trippers, and Speed Limit and I took 3.5 gram doses. The effects became noticeable after seven minutes and most intense after 15. These are the immediate reactions to the tablets.

Who's Your Kid - "Man, this is chalky."

Gretchin' Fetchin' - " It has a strange Crunchberry flavor."

Moutain Girl - "Kinda' tastes like açaí berry."

All of the participants were asked to consume one or more items from a list of approved foods: lemons, gummy worms, Sour Patch Kids, limes, pizza, coffee, salt and vinegar chips, 7up, Coke, green apple, orange juice, and radicchio. Here are some of the impressions of those on the bus.

Speed Limit - "Radicchio still sucks, but tolerable. I would sit and eat lemons and limes all day, tastes like over-sugared lemonade or lime rickey. Sour Patch Kids are like Swedish Fish. No ill effects at all. And oh yeah, pizza tastes like texture and grease."

Mountain Girl - " Salt and vinegar chips taste like regular chips. Lemons taste amazing! And Granny Smith apples taste sweet."

Stark Naked - "Bad Slavin coffee continued to taste like bad Slavin coffee; after 30 min. There was an awful bitter taste in my mouth; salt and vinegar chips were ruined forever."

Bad Trip - "My Coke tastes awful. It's just dirty water now."

Babbs - "Gummy worms are super sweet and yummy! Pizza is tasteless. 7up tastes the same. Lemon is orgasmic. Lime is good, but not as good as the lemon. Apple is weird and sweet but not a real apple taste."

Chief - "Orange juice tastes like it's from the moon."

Longo - "Lemon in water tastes like lemonade."

While we firmly believe in better living through chemistry, Miracle Berries and Flavor Tripping have their drawbacks. The effects only last for about 30 minutes. You will probably eat a number of foods that don't play nice with one another in your stomach, so if you overindulge you will make yourself sick. And since acidic foods taste so amazing, you must be careful how much of them you eat because you could easily eat three whole lemons and a lime and have a sore throat for days. Take it from me. If you continue abusing yourself with chemically enhanced lemons you may cause oral ulcers.

However, if you use the tablets in moderation, the trip can be a really enjoyable experience, especially when enjoyed with friends. So grab a berry and go have a trip. You might like it. You might not. But what we guarantee is that you will never look at a lemon the same way again.