Greetings from The Cowl's Arts and Entertainment Family

Hey man,

1. Ridiculous sideburns. 2. The release of my landlord's first gangsta rap hit single, "Yong Yu Needs to Get PAID," followed by a promotional tour with Young Buck. 3. To rip shots of Jack Daniels with Kevin Millar before the Red Sox season opener. 4. A new Cadillac STS, with the trunk stocked exclusively with Magic Hat growlers and those "Chicken Bake" things my roommate Todd eats all the time. 5. To win the third annual Lady Beltis Invitational beirut tournament, and finally complete the beer club list at the Abbey. 6. Season one of Drawn Together on DVD and a big, stuffed Ling-Ling action figure that secretes psychedelic drugs. 7. For Salma Hayek to give me the tequila striptease that she busts out for Quentin Tarantino in From Dusk 'Til Dawn (minus the whole part where she turns into a demented vampire and kills him, of course). 8. The triumphant return of Joseph Michael Mavodones. 9. The killer golf sweater that Pat is wearing in this picture. 10. Oh, and little guidance over the next few months might be nice.

Thanks pal, Matt Hess

Dear Santa,

I know I'm not the easiest person to shop for, but if you can come through with any of the following, I'll be more than happy to leave some extra cookies out this year. 1. Something to do after graduation. I'll leave my resume out for you. 2. A Pavement reunion (even if it's just for one show, just as long as I can be there and make the setlist). 3. For the Friars to learn how to rebound. 4. Ownership of the New York Mets. I'd immediately make my roommate Jim the GM and together we'd run the team like a real baseball franchise. 5. My own talk show with the PC Pep Band as my house band. 6. A rock band and the time to practice. 7. National syndication for my WDOM radio show. 8. A Latin Grammy-because it would be fun to have one. 9. For The Critic and Sports Night to escape the limbo known as cancellation and return to production. 10. The long awaited cinematic masterpiece-Tenacious D in the Pick of Destiny

Thanks, Brian Wall

Dear Santa, So here's what I'm hoping for this year- 1. Four more years of college. 2. Dave Matthews to headline "Patfest 2005," to be performed in my backyard. 3. To play air guitar with Dave on stage at said concert extravaganza. 4. A star on the Hollywood walk of fame. 5. A new reality music contest in which I would compete and obviously win-Karaoke Idol. 6. The meaning of life. That'd be cool. 7. A signed document from Sandra Bullock stating her intent to marry me and be my love slave. 8. Great hair. 9. I'd like to go on a bar crawl with the guys from Ocean's 11. I hear they know how to party. 10. My face on some form of currency.

Thanks big fella, Pat Egan

Dear Santa, 1. I'm not ashamed to request a new copy of Mariah's 1994 Christmas CD... mine is a little worn down nowadays. 2. For someone to develop all my pictures from this semester... there are so many. 3. Gift cards: Mobile Gas Station and Shaw's Supermarket. 4. My own copy of Garfield's Christmas and the Muppet Christmas Carol, some of my favorite Christmas movies. 5. Speaking of movies, the leg lamp from the Christmas Story. 6. Santa pleeeease don't make me go back for a fourth Christmas season to my job at Macy's Department store in good old New Hampshire... may I magically find another four week job opportunity. 7. ER: The Good Years. On DVD. 8. A warm, fuzzy blanket. 9. Tickets to see Crazy for You next semester at PPAC... may they please not mess this one up... its only one of the best musicals in the history of American musicals. 10. A lifetime supply of Ben and Jerry's.

Love, Anna Kukowski

O Portly One, Here is what I'd like for Christmas:

1. A clone of Ryan Gomes in each grade level. 2. For Tony Danza to have a career again that does not include talk shows. 3. For fedoras to really come back into style so I don't feel silly wearing mine around campus. 4. A Congressional ban on Uggz. 5. Facebook: The Movie 6. Directions to Johnny Depp's private island. 7. For the members of The Real Gilligan's Island to find fulfillment somewhere other than my television screen. 8. For John Williams to compose a soundtrack to my life. 9. Facebook: The Board Game 10. A ride that's a little more pimped out than RIPTA. Yo.

Love, Deanna Cioppa

Dear Santa,

I would like:

1. Mos Def and Talib Kweli to come together and make a second Black Star Album. 2. A Ricky Williams jersey 3. Dr. Eric Hirsch for president. 4. A mud-wrestling match between Salma Hayek, Halle Berry, and Penelope Cruz to determine who will be mine. 5. Teachers and politicians traded income. 6. A private hand-shake with Manny Ramirez and David Ortiz. 7. A private music studio with all necessary instruments and production equipment. 8. Resurrection of 2Pac, Biggie, and Big L. 9. A personal concert featuring Erykah Badu and the Roots. 10. A car... with gas in it.

Thanks, Mike Holland

Helllllo Santa, There are so many things that I would like this year, but here is a short list of some of the necessities:

1. Last year I asked you for a brief fling with Todd Walker. Then Todd Walker got traded. And the Sox won the World Series. So, instead, how about you arrange something for me with David Ortiz? Like, uh, a nice friendship. 2. To star opposite Kenneth Brannagh in a stage remake of his excellent film version of Hamlet. And for him to fall helplessly in love with me and recite Shakespeare to me every night before I go to bed. In a tux. 3. For it to be cool that I (OK, I am publicly announcing it) like Hanson. 4. For the paparazzi to follow me around like they do Paris Hilton, if only so that I can wear a different wig everyday as a "disguise." 5. A field filled with millions and millions of puppies. And the time to hug them and squeeze them. 6. 67 hours in every day. I know this sounds arbitrary, but I have mathematically calculated that this is exactly how much time I need to do all my work and be able to watch three movies every day. Which is what I like to do. 7. For the Polar Express to be real. There once was a time in my life when I thought it was, and the disappointment of learning the truth killed me. Unbreak my heart, Santa. 8. For Providence College to install speakers all over campus so that during Christmas season, carols can be pumped out of them 24 hours a day. And the rest of the year, light rock classics. 9. For someone to channel W.B. Yeats so that I can have a private poetry reading with him. 10. A new lightsaber. Mine broke.

Love, Steph Smith