Tangents and Tirades

Frustrated with the format. Next to stubbing your toe, writing a works cited page is probably the most annoying slash painful experience known to man. Who sat down and decided that underlining book titles is protocol, or that you have to indent five spaces on the second line? Moreover, who cares? Let's not be superfluous, all you really need is the book and the page number. I challenge any professor to sincerely tell me that he or she whips out the Inspector Gadget gear to check on the publishing date of a particular work. Consequently, you can just lie when the information isn't available. Will I be chastised if I write Haughty Muffler instead of Houghton Mifflin? And what's worse is that half the time the book doesn't even fit into the stupid format. What are you supposed to do if it's an excerpt from the Bible: "Holy Spirit, Influence of the. Basis of Some of the World's Most Prominent Religions. Various locations in the Middle East: Hardworking Scribes, Inc., Something B.C. to Something A.D."? That looks somewhat awkward. Case in point: I veto bibliographies.-Maryclaire Dugre '10

Scare tactics heating up. During an interview last week, CNN founder Ted Turner stated that not taking immediate action on global warming would be "catastrophic." He noted that, "We'll be eight degrees hotter in 10, not 10 but 30 or 40 years and basically none of the crops will grow. Most of the people will have died and the rest of us will be cannibals. Civilization will have broken down." Recent evidence, however, has revealed that perhaps "global warming" may not be having the catastrophic impact that Turner, Al Gore, and others would have us believe. Last week, BBC environmental analyst Roger Harrabin reported that, "Global temperatures for 2008 will be slightly cooler than last year," meaning that "temperatures have not risen globally since 1998." This and other evidence, in addition to the growing number of those in the scientific community questioning the legitimacy of global warming, is what leads Turner and others to try to frighten well-intentioned people into accepting the global warming hoax. In addition, Al Gore has launched a $300 million campaign to give global warming more national and political attention. One must question where Gore is receiving funding for such a campaign and why he would find it necessary given global warming's supposed status as "scientific fact." Probably the greatest indication that Gore and his crowd realize very well that the whole global warming issue is a scam is his refusal to debate any scientists who disagree with him. In classic fashion, when the facts are not in accordance with their world-view, the left turns to big money and scare tactics.-Mark Scirocco '10

Lost Wiithout it. There are four things that take precedence in my life. And they go in this order: First, cinnamon buns. (We make them every week. I am partial to the ones with cream cheese frosting, but Pete will never let me buy them.) Second, the love for my editors. Academics takes a close third-place finish. Finally, my Nintendo Wii. But over the weekend, the close group of friends that live on Bedford Hall fifth floor, "Blue Barracudas," experienced a tragedy that Shakespeare himself could not even begin to fathom, much less write. That injustice, my friends, was the blatant stealing of my beloved Wii right from under my nose. We were getting ready for a solid night of Tiger Woods '07 when we came back in the room from a late-night game of softball to find that the little white box with the cool blue light that brought me so much joy and happiness was missing. Gone. Nowhere to be found. For three days I have been without my Nintendo and it's now starting to bother me. I've been banking on one of my friends just playing a joke on me, and every time I walk in the room, I keep thinking I will see my pretty white system glowing blue like glacial ice amidst a dark room. But, as is everything else I've planned for in my life, that hasn't happened yet. So let me issue a warning to the thief, or thieves, that are playing a full 18 from the black tees as you read this: I probably won't find you. But if I do . . . it is on.-Mike Pettinari '09

It's the thought that counts. A little while ago, my brother figured out how to solve the Rubix cube, with the help of a little booklet that gave him a description of the steps used to solve the puzzle. Now, he is a pretty smart kid, but I feel like that's cheating. Anyway, I have a Rubix cube of my own that I fiddle with in my free time (which isn't very much) and I get a side or two every once in a while. The other day I was looking at my Rubix cube, and someone had peeled off the stickers and put them on different squares, so there is no longer any possible way to solve the puzzle. Nevertheless, I still try and align all the squares when I have a chance, though I know I have no chance of success. It's not the solution that matters, but rather the act of thinking through the puzzle.-Ben Perry '10