2008 Woodie Awards
The summer horror picture show
Let's all just admit it: The movies this summer weren't that good
James McGehee '08
Issue date: 9/15/06 Section: Arts & Entertainment
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To celebrate the end of the summer movie season, let us all go down to the Newport Creamery and have an Awful Awful. Honestly, here is the first summer I felt more gypped leaving the theater than I did leaving the gas pump. I heard great things about Little Miss Sunshine (although I have missed out) and The Descent delivered for a small horror movie. But the summer season is about its blockbusters, not its low-budgeted Indies.
First things first: M. Night Shyamalan needs to be punched in the face. Lady in the Water, which I had anticipated to be the summer's best, showcases Shyamalan as a writer whose yet unpublished text of ideas will change the world. The prophetic lady in the water lets him know he will be martyred after the book's release. Why does Shyamalan, a bad actor, cast himself in his movie's third leading role? Maybe it's because he thinks he is that writer. And who is the only person in the story who is eaten by the monster? A film critic. Tripping on his ego, Shyamalan has manufactured some serious cinematic high hokum.
Returning to the movies three weeks later, I saw Oliver Stone's World Trade Center, a patriotic and respectful tribute to those who died on September 11, 2001. What I will most remember this movie for is the morning after. I turned on the T.V. while eating my cereal and learned that Scotland Yard had foiled a terrorist attack that would have been the largest since September 11. A frightening juxtaposition.
Ignoring chronology, let us go back to the summer's first blockbuster release: Mission: Impossible III. (No jokes about Tom Cruise, please.) The movie meets the minimum requirements of a summer action flick. The attack on the Chesapeake Bay Bridge is the summer's best bridge scene, beating the Golden Gate Bridge upending in X-Men: The Last Stand. If only Philip Seymour Hoffman had a more interestingly evil villain to play. But there will be a fourth. Right?
At the end of May, The Da Vinci Code, as expected, arrived on uninspired celluloid. Tom Hanks, in his first live-action performance since summer 2004, has no fun. Such a disappointment considering Hanks is a most gifted actor who has time and time again opened my imagination. As you know, The Da Vinci Code is "controversial" and has created quite a stir. Shakespeare also wrote this play. It's called Much Ado About Nothing.
First things first: M. Night Shyamalan needs to be punched in the face. Lady in the Water, which I had anticipated to be the summer's best, showcases Shyamalan as a writer whose yet unpublished text of ideas will change the world. The prophetic lady in the water lets him know he will be martyred after the book's release. Why does Shyamalan, a bad actor, cast himself in his movie's third leading role? Maybe it's because he thinks he is that writer. And who is the only person in the story who is eaten by the monster? A film critic. Tripping on his ego, Shyamalan has manufactured some serious cinematic high hokum.
Returning to the movies three weeks later, I saw Oliver Stone's World Trade Center, a patriotic and respectful tribute to those who died on September 11, 2001. What I will most remember this movie for is the morning after. I turned on the T.V. while eating my cereal and learned that Scotland Yard had foiled a terrorist attack that would have been the largest since September 11. A frightening juxtaposition.
Ignoring chronology, let us go back to the summer's first blockbuster release: Mission: Impossible III. (No jokes about Tom Cruise, please.) The movie meets the minimum requirements of a summer action flick. The attack on the Chesapeake Bay Bridge is the summer's best bridge scene, beating the Golden Gate Bridge upending in X-Men: The Last Stand. If only Philip Seymour Hoffman had a more interestingly evil villain to play. But there will be a fourth. Right?
At the end of May, The Da Vinci Code, as expected, arrived on uninspired celluloid. Tom Hanks, in his first live-action performance since summer 2004, has no fun. Such a disappointment considering Hanks is a most gifted actor who has time and time again opened my imagination. As you know, The Da Vinci Code is "controversial" and has created quite a stir. Shakespeare also wrote this play. It's called Much Ado About Nothing.