2008 Woodie Awards
Tiffany&Earl
Making PC an emotionally stable place, one letter at a time . . .
Issue date: 9/28/06 Section: Portfolio
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This Week . . . to snip or not to snip
Dear Tiffany and Earl,
My mother is Italian and my father is Armenian. The reason I tell you this information is because I have the genetics which have forcibly made me wear a "fur sweater" year round. With hair covering nearly every square inch of my body, I have not had the best of luck with the opposite sex-at least that's what I attribute it to. College however, has brought many new opportunities including my first girlfriend. The problem lies in the fact that although she likes me, she wants a "man-scaping" crew to come in and do an overhaul. It seems like a lot of work. I really like my hair, and man-scaping doesn't seem too manly . . . but I also like my girlfriend and want to make her happy. What should I do?
Your Furry Friend
Dear Furry,
Girls like to change boys, and for many, nothing satisfies them more than to look at their beloved and believe that they have made them better. For some girls this remains on an emotional level, and for others it rests solely on aesthetics. For you, my friend, it looks like you have the latter for a girlfriend.
I think the real question is how much man-scaping are we talking about-does she want you to completely shave yourself, so that you appear rubber chicken-esque, or does she want a little trim here and there?
There is truly nothing wrong with a little trimming every so often, but an extreme man-scape takes time and commitment. This is not a one time deal, so get ready for weekly grooming. If you're willing to do that for the one you love, then I commend you, and wish you well. But, please invest in a kind razor.
But, please watch out for your girlfriend. If she is able to get you to loose your fur sweater, what's next? Plucking that unibrow, wearing shorts below the knee? Somehow somewhere, find yourself and try not to loose it. You'll probably be broken up by the snowball anyways. Happy snipping.
-Tiffany
Dear Furry,
Sorry to hear about your problem, but, this is not Queer Eye for the Hairy Guy. I am not really the source of hair grooming advice. You see I have strange hormones and missed a few stages of puberty. I have only shaved twice in my life and that was to sculpt the perfect moustache that you see on my ruggedly good-looking face.
Dear Tiffany and Earl,
My mother is Italian and my father is Armenian. The reason I tell you this information is because I have the genetics which have forcibly made me wear a "fur sweater" year round. With hair covering nearly every square inch of my body, I have not had the best of luck with the opposite sex-at least that's what I attribute it to. College however, has brought many new opportunities including my first girlfriend. The problem lies in the fact that although she likes me, she wants a "man-scaping" crew to come in and do an overhaul. It seems like a lot of work. I really like my hair, and man-scaping doesn't seem too manly . . . but I also like my girlfriend and want to make her happy. What should I do?
Your Furry Friend
Dear Furry,
Girls like to change boys, and for many, nothing satisfies them more than to look at their beloved and believe that they have made them better. For some girls this remains on an emotional level, and for others it rests solely on aesthetics. For you, my friend, it looks like you have the latter for a girlfriend.
I think the real question is how much man-scaping are we talking about-does she want you to completely shave yourself, so that you appear rubber chicken-esque, or does she want a little trim here and there?
There is truly nothing wrong with a little trimming every so often, but an extreme man-scape takes time and commitment. This is not a one time deal, so get ready for weekly grooming. If you're willing to do that for the one you love, then I commend you, and wish you well. But, please invest in a kind razor.
But, please watch out for your girlfriend. If she is able to get you to loose your fur sweater, what's next? Plucking that unibrow, wearing shorts below the knee? Somehow somewhere, find yourself and try not to loose it. You'll probably be broken up by the snowball anyways. Happy snipping.
-Tiffany
Dear Furry,
Sorry to hear about your problem, but, this is not Queer Eye for the Hairy Guy. I am not really the source of hair grooming advice. You see I have strange hormones and missed a few stages of puberty. I have only shaved twice in my life and that was to sculpt the perfect moustache that you see on my ruggedly good-looking face.