2008 Woodie Awards
Tiffany & Earl
Making PC an emotionally stable place, one letter at a time
Issue date: 3/29/07 Section: Portfolio
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This week...You're trapped as long as you want to be
Dear Tiffany and Earl,
My girlfriend and I were planning to go to Commencement together; however, we just broke up. We still talk occasionally and are friends, I guess, but I'm not sure if I still want to go with her to my last college event. I feel obligated to go with her, but at the same time I would prefer taking someone else and avoiding any potential fights that could happen.
-Greg Hartfell
Dear Greg,
Romantic relationships are a special bond between two people who care about one another. Relationships are different than marriage in one sense because they are much easier to escape from. There is no splitting of assets, or custody of children to worry about. What I find interesting about most people's relationships is that they look at them just as they would look at a marriage-as though they owe the other person something.
It's nice that you are concerned about your ex-girlfriend, but more importantly, you must also be concerned about yourself. Commencement is your final week of college. There will be no more. So, if you want to spend your last blissful college moments with your ex-girlfriend hanging on your arm or trying to make you jealous, then go ahead. But realize that you don't actually owe her anything and don't have to do this.
I'm not suggesting that you disregard her feelings altogether, as I have been an ex-girlfriend in the past and know how it feels, but you need to worry about you.
To best execute the "date escape," TALK to her and explain how you feel. You don't need to include every little detail about why you don't want to take her. But, try to be as honest as you can. And by the way, communicating your feelings via Instant Messenger, Facebook wall, or text message doesn't count. While you don't owe her a week of your life, you do owe her an explanation-oh and some notice so that she can snag herself another date. Best of luck.
Dear Tiffany and Earl,
My girlfriend and I were planning to go to Commencement together; however, we just broke up. We still talk occasionally and are friends, I guess, but I'm not sure if I still want to go with her to my last college event. I feel obligated to go with her, but at the same time I would prefer taking someone else and avoiding any potential fights that could happen.
-Greg Hartfell
Dear Greg,
Romantic relationships are a special bond between two people who care about one another. Relationships are different than marriage in one sense because they are much easier to escape from. There is no splitting of assets, or custody of children to worry about. What I find interesting about most people's relationships is that they look at them just as they would look at a marriage-as though they owe the other person something.
It's nice that you are concerned about your ex-girlfriend, but more importantly, you must also be concerned about yourself. Commencement is your final week of college. There will be no more. So, if you want to spend your last blissful college moments with your ex-girlfriend hanging on your arm or trying to make you jealous, then go ahead. But realize that you don't actually owe her anything and don't have to do this.
I'm not suggesting that you disregard her feelings altogether, as I have been an ex-girlfriend in the past and know how it feels, but you need to worry about you.
To best execute the "date escape," TALK to her and explain how you feel. You don't need to include every little detail about why you don't want to take her. But, try to be as honest as you can. And by the way, communicating your feelings via Instant Messenger, Facebook wall, or text message doesn't count. While you don't owe her a week of your life, you do owe her an explanation-oh and some notice so that she can snag herself another date. Best of luck.