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Sign of the Apocalypse #2857: Terror on the Telephone

I've gotten in the nasty habit of lying to semi-innocent people lately when I'm annoyed. Take, for example, the lady who answered the phone at a pizza place recently. Now I'm sure she's probably an all-around swell person, but-and this is a big 'but'-she pushed me over the edge.

On the Other Side of the Fence

I live off campus, in a nice place that my friends and I work hard to maintain both materially and emotionally. What I mean is that it takes work to make the place both look nice and feel nice. It's the feeling nice part that's the harder of the two, mostly in that there's more to making a home than picking out the furniture and trying to match the curtains with the walls, which is much harder than it sounds.

Sand in My Pants, No Beer in My Hand

I do not always subscribe to the notion that an ice-cold brew(skie) ameliorates a situation, but today may just be one of them days. As I sit next to my parents watching my two younger brothers in the ocean at Misquamicut Beach, it occurs to me that a beer might not be so bad right about now.

CO2-Induced Bubbles and the Eternity of Music

A plastic bottle of sparkling water sits on my windowsill, its bubbles rising in intermittent bursts, as the sallow headlights from passing cars outside glide over their multitudinous concave / convex hemispheres. A blaring horn initiates a marvelous nocturnal symphony.

The Exact Color of Your Eyes

"You're my soul mate," proclaimed the young girl, who could not have been more than eight years old, as the wind brushed her sunflower-yellow dress and teased her short, chestnut hair. A shiny yellow ribbon held the strands from her beautiful eyes and her button nose.

Tiffany&Earl

Making PC an emotionally stable place, one letter at a time . . .
Dear Tiffany and Earl, What do you do when you have to tell your parents you've done something stupid? (And I mean, really stupid.) I For reasons that are probably best left unsaid, my brand spankin' new laptop is currently in two halves. I'm dead, dead, dead. What should I do-break it to them gently, lie through my teeth, straight up confess, or something else? Please help! -One Who is Rapidly Approaching Death

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