April 4, 2020

Let’s Rant

posted on: Thursday March 1, 2012

Tim Morris ’14/A&E Editor

It’s something of a phenomenon. A faintly attractive girl between the ages of 15 and 21 decides that she wants to become the next Miley Cyrus. Her father may not be the washed-up cowboy behind “Achy Breaky Heart,” but that doesn’t matter. This unknown starlet has a voice (presumably), a camera, and access to the Internet. A dozen YouTube videos later and her schmaltzy tunes have gotten her into the music industry.

Rebecca Black did it with “Friday.” So did the other girl, the one who sings about her jeans. But the latest sensation to come out of the poopy-pop factory is Carly Rae Jepsen. With a name like that, she is already part of an exclusive society whose members include Anna Nicole Smith, Edgar Allen Poe, and Jamie Lee Curtis. Her story generates even more of a buzz. A native of Canada, Jepsen placed third in the fifth season of Canadian Idol. Yeah, I know what you’re thinking: They have television in Canada?! Personally, I was surprised by Canada’s decision to idolize a vocalist when it has so many accomplished woodsmen. Even more surprising is the fact that Jepsen still has a career. In America, if you place third in the fifth season of anything, you lose. That’s it. You get nothing.

So, how did Jepsen break out of obscurity? Here’s the answer: “Call Me Maybe.” If you go to Providence College, you have probably heard someone playing it or—worse—singing it: “Hey, I just met you, / and this is crazy, / but here’s my number, / so call me, maybe?” Most of the offenders are girls. Why? Because they can relate. For millennia (or since 1971), girls have poured out of their residence halls like water out of a faucet. They have trickled down Eaton Street, flooding various basements. They have introduced themselves to guys. Needless to say, these experiences have been crazy. Numbers were exchanged then and they are being exchanged now. Don’t you see? Providence College is the hook of “Call Me Maybe.” I’d like to think that my analysis of this song is a decent one. Still, before I conclude, I would like to pick apart the title. From reading it, the listener already knows that Jepsen is a bit self-centered. Why does the guy have to call her, huh? If she really wants him, why can’t she put in the effort? Don’t forget that she threw in the word maybe. This is the escape clause for every guy that Jepsen talks to. Maybe she doesn’t want to be forceful, but I would take this as a sign of insecurity. Oh, and one more thing to think about: there is no punctuation in the title. Does she want a guy to literally call her Maybe? I guess that’s kinky…

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