posted on: Wednesday March 7, 2012
Haley Webster ’14/A&E Staff
5) The Departed Okay, so it’s not the most legitimate Irish movie around, but it is quite possibly the best, and if you’re from anywhere within an hour of Boston, then you will definitely agree. If that doesn’t sell you, there are quite a few shout-outs to Providence’s finest throughout the film that are sure to get your attention. Unofficially an homage to Whitey Bulger, infamous Irish-Boston crime boss, the plot is absolutely riveting and begs for a solid Dropkick Murphys song montage throughout every scene. The cast includes greats like Leonardo DiCaprio, Jack Nicholson, and Matt Damon, who work together to form the ultimate badass ensemble. If that doesn’t make you want to wave an Irish flag, I don’t know what will.
Ireland has pumped out some seriously talented performers, such as U2, The Cranberries, Damien Rice, and Dropkick Murphys. However, nobody tops B*Witched. Between 2000 and 2002, not only did every girl in the United States of America own every one of their CDs (which always featured some type of Myspace-esque jumping shot), but they also each craved their Irish accents, too. Who cares about the IRA and political strife that the Irish deal with? When I was nine, I would have put up with every riot in the world just to screw my vowels up like they did. While their success was short-lived, they are the reason that Irish accents are so coveted today.
We can thank Ireland for Guinness, Jameson, and Baileys. A general rule is that if the liquor is darker than your soul, then you probably shouldn’t drink it. I’m talking to you, Guinness. The Irish really can’t be that upset about their “fighting Irish,” alcohol-induced stereotype, because you don’t see France and England producing that much hard liquor, do you? While they combat centuries of being targeted as drunks, we simply continue to find new ways to utilize these Irish exports. Guinness cupcakes, anyone?
2) Someone to Oppose Italians
So, two guys walk into a bar, one Italian and one Irish…then what happens? It’s the age-old debate—Italian mafia or Irish mobsters? Who is the loudest? Who is more intimidating, North End or Southie? Who is more likely to win in a fight? Regardless of how many tables Teresa flips on the Real Housewives of New Jersey, we may never know which group is more powerful. I mean, Whitey Bulger was at large for 16 years and was 81 years old when the cops finally found him, but the Italians just can’t seem to get enough reality show airtime. Regardless of your personal bias, it’s best to just let this one go, or else you could get a table flipped at you or a bottle of Jameson to the face.