July 5, 2020

Giving It the Old College Try

posted on: Wednesday March 24, 2010

Chris Slavin ’12 / Asst. Commentary Editor

Saturday was by far the most college day of the year so far. I know most of you guys college-ed out pretty hard Saturday, as was made obvious by the population of the quad, but I’m positive I was the most college person on campus this weekend. Let me run you through my extremely chill, extremely Dave Matthews Band, extremely college day last Saturday.I woke up in my dorm. Of course I was a bit hazy from the RIDICULOUS night before, and I knew my bros and I had broed-out extra hard when I saw two of my bros passed out on my floor amidst five buff chick pizza boxes and a few N64 controllers. When I realized how warm it was outside, one word jolted into my mind: QUAD — the college Mecca. The more time you spend on the quad, the more college you are, so I got dressed quickly. My college ensemble for the first day on the quad of the season was premeditated. I threw on my Utah Jazz 1998 Western Conference Champions snap-back hat, flipped that baby backwards, dug out my high school mesh lacrosse pinny, slid into some plaid shorts with the belt hanging nonchalantly down in the front, added the shades and the flip-flops, and I was out the door. About halfway down the hall I stopped and realized I had forgotten to do something extra college. I headed back to the room, started cranking some Dave Matthews Band on iTunes, and faced the speakers out the window towards the quad. SO COLLEGE. Once I got down there, my bros were already tossing around the lax ball and the honeys were already lounging on their beach towels.What really made me so college on Saturday was how chill I was. I managed to keep it so chill all day, even when we got a co-ed volleyball game going on the quad. My bros and I were playing hard, of course, but somehow we managed to maintain an extremely chill aura throughout the game. It was so chill, and so college. After the game, as I was lounging on the grass, someone’s baseball rolled over to me, and as I flipped it to the dude who it belonged to I said the single most chill phrase imaginable. “No worries, bra.” How chill am I? “No worries, bra.” Dave Matthews himself could not have said any phrase more chill than that.I actually received several compliments about how chill I was on Saturday. It was so college. On my way over to Jazzman’s to snag an iced coffee I hit up one of my bros over at Fairfield U to see if he was having as college of a day as I was. He wasn’t, but he was keeping it pretty chill, so props to him. When I got back to the quad, some of my bros told me we were heading over to one of our other bro’s house on Pinehurst Ave to drink Keystone Light while listening to Dave Matthews Band and lounging in his front yard. I said “That sounds really chill, bro,” but there was one problem. “How are we going to listen to Dave Matthews Band during the walk over there?” I remembered my ultra-chill, ultra-portable iPod stereo. Problem solved.My bros and I faced another mild bump on the chill college road when one of my bros needed a bottle opener to open his brewski while we were chilling at our bro’s house on Pinehurst Ave. I probably reached my chill peak when I tossed him my flip-flop that has a bottle opener on the bottom of it and followed it with another “No worries, bra.” So chill. And that reminded me. I turned to my bro and was like “Hey bro, do you mind hooking me up with some of the Keystone Light that you filled your sandal-flask with before we left the dorm?” He was like, “Yeah bro, that’s chill with me.” I didn’t even think about my management term paper all day (I’ll probably just pull an all-nighter and order some food from a local inexpensive pizzeria one night this week), and I ended Saturday night by eating three buff chick pizzas, complimenting each and every one of my bros on how chill their backwards hats were, telling a freshman to do something crazy, and remaining extremely chill and extremely college.

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