by Elizabeth McGinn on February 11, 2021
Parody
I love waking up every morning to the FriarAlert Daily Screening emails, but I’d rather wake up with you ;)
-Lovesick
Real good with a Q-tip.
-24 Self-administered COVID Tests
Consistently testing negative but I have a positive attitude and a dog. I’m also tall, if that helps.
-The Swab Master
I love iced coffee, all things pink and orange, and whipped cream. Hit me up if you like your coffee tall, dark, and sweet ;)
-Duncan
Big nose, bigger heart. I like my men the way I like my beer: cold, bitter, and headless.
-Just a Widow, Baby
If this doesn’t go well, I will probably write a poem about you.
-Wannabe Poet in Need of Content
I used to root for the Knicks, but now I’m ready to settle down and get that ring.
-Committed Carl
Basic girl looking for a basic guy. Gotta be able to play catch, so I can catch these feelings for you.
-2 good 4 you
Looking for someone to fill my lonely nights now that Dot is gone.
-Ray the Romantic
Ardently searching for a woman who is tolerable but not handsome enough to tempt me.
-Bachelor with a Considerable Means and Estate
Looking for someone to recite lines from Step Brothers with me.
-Nighthawk
Looking for someone who can keep up with my craziness and who can eat a whole pizza with me.
-PizzaLover14
Do you like bad girls? ’Cause I’m bad at everything :)
-The Least Talented Person You’ll Ever Meet