by Grace Pappadellis ’29 on September 25, 2025
Campus
It is a given that at some point when young adults are trying to decipher who they are, disheveling emotions can arise, and the line between who we want to be and who we actually are becomes blurry. During these youthful years, there’s a certain standard that one sets for themselves—a standard that is different for everyone—and has the ability to shift someone’s mood, lifestyle, goals, and even their entire personality.
My parents believed that they were preaching to the choir when they would remind me over and over that I have time to figure out who I am, what I want to do, and what I truly value in life. However, I never understood this idea until I got to college, and I’ve still only now begun to grasp it.
In high school, I was far from appreciating who I was, never mind understanding myself. I had a close-knit group of friends, played sports, worked in a hot dog and ice cream shop, and studied often. Although this is seemingly the ideal high school experience, I had little self-confidence and struggled to uphold my individuality. I felt judged by people, even though I would inadvertently judge others, too.
As time progressed, it became clear that my identity was emerging, and I’m sure I can speak for other high schoolers when I say this: it felt like I was peeling back layers of myself, shedding old skin, and swimming up to the surface in order to reveal my new beginning. It didn’t happen quickly. It was a methodical process, where I lost friendships and ideals for myself but gained new ones as well. There’s always going to be an element of fear with change. Whether the change is small—like getting a new haircut and doubting if it suits you—or if the change is much larger—moving to a new city, state, or even an entirely different country, and realizing how big the world really is. Regardless of how change feels, it should be a comfort to know that these situations are subject to change again. Your hair will grow, you’ll get a new job, the weather will get warmer, and you’ll realize that winter in a new state wasn’t so bad after all.
In college, it is safe to say that nobody here cares about who you once were. Your status in high school is completely null and void. Certainly, aspects of your personality inevitably come to light, and the nature of who you are is what truly attracts people. Nonetheless, there should be no expectation that those aspects are corroborations of your past self. You’ve undoubtedly changed. Stepping foot in a new place, your mind and body has started to grow to fit a new habitat. Looking around, new faces pop up everywhere, a ubiquitous, flourishing garden of people, all here for the same reasons. There’s an incomparable beauty in experiencing something brand new, all at once, without much guidance on how to grow your own garden.