by Connor Zimmerman on March 5, 2020
Features
Woo the producers/Chris Harrison
Sabotage the other contestants by putting a metric ton of garlic in their food
Pull a power move and propose to the Bachelor/Bachelorette
Replace all the girls’ makeup with clown makeup
Rig the rose ceremony
Make the other contestants fall in love with you
Don’t be fake
Be fake
Steal the champagne
Cry 24/7 (eye drops are a must)
On the hometown visit episode, lock the Bachelor/Bachelorette in your closet so that they can never meet your chaotic war zone of a family
Bring a cute dog with you (hypoallergenic to be safe)
Run into your ex while on the show
Hot air balloon
Follow Tiff and Earl dating advice (this is how we win)
Tell them where you hid the bodies
Blackmail/extortion
Give an ultimatum
Have a traumatic childhood experience
Don’t have a significant other