October 22, 2019

Tiff and Earl

posted on: Thursday September 19, 2019

Dear Tiff and Earl,

How do I get onto the show Caught in Providence? My parents are big fans and I want to make them proud.

Looking to get caught,
Caprio’s Number 1 Fan

 

Dear CN1F, 

If you want to get Caprio’s attention and make your parents proud, you have to do something creative and bold. Anyone can run a red light. If you do it on a souped up PC golf cart capable of going 60 mph in a school zone, that’ll get people talking (without affecting your parents’ car insurance). Your parents will see that this liberal arts education has made you into someone who thinks outside the box. 

Beep beep,
Tiff

 

Dear Fanny, 

You know the red light camera at the intersection of Huxley and Eaton? Your best shot is to get a running start coming down the hill (in the new bike lane, of course) and Naruto Run through a red signal at full speed. The TV cameras will never stop following you after a stunt like that. The only question: can your convoluted conspiracy circumvent conviction by Caprio?

Courageously,
Earl

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