by The Cowl Editor on December 7, 2019
Christmas
Dear Tiff and Earl,
I was hired to write a new Hallmark movie and am out of ideas. What clichés should I use?
Merrily,
Clueless at Christmas
Dear Clueless,
Forget the clichés. Doesn’t anyone ever wonder what happened to that guy that the girl was supposed to marry but then realizes he isn’t right for her and falls in love with some flannel-clad, blue-jean stud? I’m sure the other guy wasn’t that bad, but he still had his heart broken! How’s his Christmas going to be? Probably not as merry and bright as his ex-lover’s. Geez, the poor guy was probably getting ready to propose, too. Write a movie for him, we’ve got enough clichés out there.
Uncommonly,
Tiff
Dear Hall and Mark,
Running out of new ideas is central to making a good Hallmark move. If you’re trying to appeal to a new audience, try adding in some clichés from Lifetime movies. What’s the real reason Lydia fell in love with the man who moved to her quaint small town where it’s always Christmas? Well, the last woman to refuse him ended up in a windowless white van. Who knows what’s buried under that cute gazebo in the town square…
Uninventively,
Earl