October 24, 2020

Tiff and Earl

posted on: Thursday September 17, 2020

Dear Tiff and Earl,

I passed gas on my Zoom call and my video went on speaker view. How do I recover?

Sincerely,
Mortified Morty

 

Dear Mortified Morty, 

There’s no way to reverse engineer the damage that has been done. The only good thing is that if this were an in-person class, you definitely would have turned up some noses or killed the grass around you. But anyway, my best suggestions for the future are to keep a whoopee cushion nearby (for comedic relief), lay off the beans, and KEEP YOUR MIC ON MUTE IF YOU FEEL YOUR TUMMY A-RUMBLING. I must say, this seems like an easily preventable issue, but I suppose we all need a little extra help these days.

Fragrantly,
Tiff

 

Dear Morty, 

Drop the class. Now, this may seem like an overreaction, but remember, you have a personal brand to maintain. No teacher has ever written a grad student recommendation for the student who excelled at passing the most gas. Perhaps try to pick up a woodworking class instead. The noise will cover up any further mishaps. 

Sneakily,
Earl

 

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