by Connor Zimmerman on March 5, 2020

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Features

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Woo the producers/Chris Harrison

Sabotage the other contestants by putting a metric ton of garlic in their food

Pull a power move and propose to the Bachelor/Bachelorette

Replace all the girls’ makeup with clown makeup

Rig the rose ceremony

Make the other contestants fall in love with you

Don’t be fake

Be fake

Steal the champagne

Cry 24/7 (eye drops are a must)

On the hometown visit episode, lock the Bachelor/Bachelorette in your closet so that they can never meet your chaotic war zone of a family

Bring a cute dog with you (hypoallergenic to be safe)

Run into your ex while on the show

Hot air balloon

Follow Tiff and Earl dating advice (this is how we win)

Tell them where you hid the bodies

Blackmail/extortion

Give an ultimatum 

Have a traumatic childhood experience 

Don’t have a significant other