by The Cowl Editor on September 26, 2019
Features
Dear Tiff and Earl,
It’s been a quiet week on campus. Almost too quiet. Do either of you know what is going on?
Sincerely,
Increasingly Alarmed
Dear Al,
There are some things they don’t teach you in Civ. Don’t look for answers because there aren’t any. You’ll understand when you’re older.
Watch your back,
Tiff
Dear Alarmist,
Clearly, we experience this campus in very different ways. All I hear from dawn to dusk are hordes of lawnmowers incessantly criss-crossing across the overwatered grass. After dark, my eardrums and nightmares are haunted by the unending cacophony of freshmen and athletes screaming through the echo chamber that you may recognize as the hallways and staircases of my dorm. From what I can tell, all that’s “going on” is a blockage in your ears.
Resoundingly,
Earl