posted on: Thursday May 4, 2017
Dear Tiff and Earl,
What are your summer/life plans?
Your Concerned Aunt Mary-Jo
What am I doing for the summer/the rest of my life? To quote the inspirational Kevin Malone, ’’I just want to lie on the beach and eat hot dogs. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.’’
But more seriously, I will be here, disguising myself as Friar Dom, going to basketball games, and generally wreaking havoc while continuing to give sensational advice.
I’ll be back—you’ll see. It takes a lot more than a degree and several restraining orders to get rid of me.
I’ve been toying around with the idea of making a Tinder account and I think this is the summer I do it. Earl’s been hitting the gym a lot lately, making gains. I figure it’s about time to take my talents to the world of online dating everyone’s been ranting and raving about.
The reason I’ve denied the world my unbridled passion for so long is I couldn’t decide on five profile pictures. How do I reduce the awesomeness that is Earl to just five photos? Do I include a photo of my car so the ladies know ’’what’s up?’’ Do I include my tank top gym mirror selfie so the ladies know ’’what’s up?’’ I guess my biggest struggle is trying to figure out how to let the ladies know what’s up.