Listomania: Presidential Primary Debate

by Sarah D Kirchner on November 7, 2019


Portfolio


Is water wet?

Do you button your shirt up or down?

Cereal or milk first?

TOH-MAY-TOE or TOH-MAH-TOE?

Is a hotdog a sandwich?

If you could be one utensil what would it be?

Were the ’90s better?

Who’s your favorite Power Ranger?

Was the moon landing a hoax?

Time travel—does it exist?

McDonald’s or Burger King?

Should the McRib be year round?

Iced coffee or ice-er coffee?

Is a brownie a cake?

Does a straw have two holes?

What is your position on gun rights for the common person versus the safety of the public?

Listomania: Pumpkin Carving Ideas

by The Cowl Editor on November 1, 2019


Features


Exam Cheat Sheet

The Gettysburg Address

Dante’s Inferno

My TikTok username

A portrait of Father Sicard

My social security number

A map to El Chapo’s treasure

Another pumpkin

A tasteful nude

The torch

The bike lane…RIP

Coach Cooley

Dot and Fran

Paul Rudd

All the productive things I’ve done (nothing—including carving  a pumpkin) 

My dignity (I don’t know what that looks like)

The Portfolio staff in the style of Da Vinci’s Last Supper

Listomania:Classes We Wish Were Offered

by The Cowl Editor on October 24, 2019


Features


eSports 

Basket Weaving

How to Tap a Keg

Sodexo Cooking

How to Get into Credit Card Debt

Avocado Toast Colloquium

History of the Marvel Cinematic Universe

Metaphysics of Living in an Aquinas Double

Ray Burnt Toast Prevention

Ethics of Cult Leadership

Honors Procrastination

Difference Between PC Cash and Friarbucks

Spongebob and the Seven Deadly Sins

Psychology of Friends

McPhail’s Milkshake Mixology

Hospitality of Dot

Listomania: New Milkshake Flavors for McPhails

by The Cowl Editor on October 10, 2019


Features


The blood of my enemies

Ice

Only toppings

Sour Patch Kids

White Claw

Apple cider

Pumpkin spice

Mystery ;)

Ray leftovers

Jungle juice

Mint Juul pods

McPhail’s popcorn

Chicken nugget (broccoli topping option)

Four Loko

Tide Pod

Insomnia Cookie

A full night’s sleep

Chipotle

Yuck Truck

Liquid cheese

Listomania: Suggestion for Next Year’s Late Night Madness performer

by The Cowl Editor on October 3, 2019


Features


Amateur Slam Poets 

Friar Dom and Huxley 

The Return of DJ Diesel 

Self-Help motivational speaker 

A hologram of The Beatles

Elton John 

The Naticks

Adam Hanna

Fr. Shanley playing the Kazoo 

A professional didgeridoo-er

Open mic night 

A man playing the guitar with his toes 

Maintenance Mike

Vsco girls saying “sksksksksksksk”

James Charles 

Tupac (he is out there somewhere)

Bagpipes student sensation

Dot’s one woman show 

Listomania: Things I Thought I Would Have Done By Now

by The Cowl Editor on September 26, 2019


Features


Written my memoir

Gone to class

Proposed my thesis

Gotten out of bed

Applied to graduate school

Taken the LSAT

Declared my major

Been to Slavin 108

Learned how to make toast

Seen any Quentin Tarantino movie

Done laundry

Called my parents

Gotten a job

Joined a club

Finished Civ

Picked up my books from the bookstore

Ordered my books from the bookstore

Registered to vote

Read my syllabus

Dropped out of college, moved to a new country, assumed another identity (everything is fine)

Listomania: Best College Side Hustles

by The Cowl Editor on September 19, 2019


Features


GoFor Inc.

Redbubble artist

Catfishing old men

Charging electric scooters

Uber or lyft driver

Participating in a psych study

Professional Ray date 

Selling your hair

Donating your Find your Nemo fish to science

Uploading feet pics

Cutting Fr. Shanley’s grass

Selling McPhail’s popcorn on Eaton Street

Selling your parking pass

Life coach

Selling stolen Cowls

Scalping your Late Night Madness tickets

Air Bnbing your dorm room for the weekend

Legs and eggs 

Printing counterfeit PC Cash

Bumble ambassador

Listomania: Things the City of Providence could have put on Eaton Street other than a bike lane

by The Cowl Editor on September 15, 2019


Features


Dorms

A torch

A scooter lane

More hot dog carts

An Insomnia Cookie

Nitro Cart drive-thru

More parking spaces

Trees

A canal for Waterfire

A slip n’ slide

Designated Uber pick up spot

Designated vaping zone

White Claw garden

Designated darty zone

An amusement park train

Mental/emotional breakdown lane

Listomania: Things Orientation Leaders Say

by The Cowl Editor on August 29, 2019


Features


I love “Body” by Loud Luxury

There’s so much to do here besides drinking

Top or Bottom?

Friar Family

We are going to do an icebreaker

Ray just makes you get creative

There’s more to PC than Eaton Street

Say a fun fact about yourself

Where’s your texting buddy?

It’s not a forced quad but a maximum occupancy room

The new students this year are bold

Just email Fixit, and they will come right away

I got four hours of sleep and have never felt better

Casino Night is the best event PC offers!

This will be fun, I promise! (Lies through their teeth) 

Listomania: Backup Commencement Speakers

by The Cowl Editor on April 11, 2019


Features


Coach Cooley

DJ Diesel (#neverforget)

John Mulaney

Father Shanley (while we still have him)

Putin and Trump

Wayne G. Resmini (“In Pain? Call Wayne”)

Governor Raimondo

Dot

Lori Loughlin (get that degree even if it’s honorary)

Paul Rudd

Camille Kostek (actually, we would prefer Gronk)

Kris Dunn

A DWC professor to remind us why DWC matters

Ghost of Thomas Aquinas

Tom Brady

ANY DOG (sorry Huxley you don’t count)