by Sarah D Kirchner on November 7, 2019

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Portfolio

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Is water wet?

Do you button your shirt up or down?

Cereal or milk first?

TOH-MAY-TOE or TOH-MAH-TOE?

Is a hotdog a sandwich?

If you could be one utensil what would it be?

Were the ’90s better?

Who’s your favorite Power Ranger?

Was the moon landing a hoax?

Time travel—does it exist?

McDonald’s or Burger King?

Should the McRib be year round?

Iced coffee or ice-er coffee?

Is a brownie a cake?

Does a straw have two holes?

What is your position on gun rights for the common person versus the safety of the public?

by The Cowl Editor on October 24, 2019

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Features

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by Pooh Bear Fanatic ’21

Xi Jinping, president of the People’s Republic of China, made headlines last week when reports of his lawsuit against Walt Disney Productions resurfaced for their use of his likeness in their depiction of Winnie the Pooh.

The suit, filed in 2014, claimed that President Jinping’s, 66, likeness had been used as a basis to create the infamous bear, which has been used to “mock” the General Secretary of the Communist Party of China.

The resurfacing comes in the wake of Hong Kong protesters objecting to Xi Jinping by donning homemade Pooh Bear masks in their continued fight against the abhorred extradition bill, meaning Pooh could represent far more than a flashpoint with the 2023 election looming.

President Jinping has previously banned all depictions of Pooh Bear in Chinese media, claiming that the “dimwitted naivety” of the anthropomorphic bear undermines the importance of the communist revitalization that he has championed.

Representatives to the People’s Republic of China could not be reached for comment.

by The Cowl Editor on October 10, 2019

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Features

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By Lil Wit ’21

It’s getting to that time of the year. The leaves are slowly falling, just like students’ spirits because midterms are on the horizon. 

  Studies show that students dread midterm week for several reasons. For one, midterm week never lasts a single week. It’s drawn out like those civ papers that are supposed to be five pages but we only have three and a half pages of somewhat decent stuff to say. Reportedly, some students insist that it can feel like midterms go on for three weeks. 

Leonard ’20 explained, “First you have those classes that have three exams per semester, so they face that class first. Once you survive that trial, you suffer through the classes that have actual midterms, and by the time you overcome (or at least) survive that beast it’s time for exam two for your other classes. Throw some papers on top of it and we’re all a wreck.” 

Students slowly start to regret not doing the homework, but they face the first exams with light in their eyes and confidence in their abilities. After an intense and soul-draining struggle, they realize that this is only the beginning and there will be no mercy no matter how many tears they shed. This is it, this is their fate. 

 Some have broken the system and have found a way to combat midterms. They study regularly, ask questions, and actually do the reading. These people sit in the exam room, silently winning the battle while the others fight for their lives (I mean grades). 

Only some will emerge triumphant, studies say.Dr. Strange from the Psychology department commented on the nature of midterms: “We just want to make sure that the students are learning and retaining the information. We don’t design them to be impossible or unfair. A lot of thought goes into the nature of our exams.” 

Oh, civ professor, little do you know that the midterm beast has brainwashed you….

by The Cowl Editor on October 3, 2019

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Features

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by Sally Satirist ’20

As the warm darty season passes into a chilly autumn, residence halls prepare for another annual showdown. While Eaton St. remains a monument to late night life, dorms have been recently rising in Friday and Saturday night notoriety. 

Suites Hall, the suite-style upperclassmen dorm, is the traditional spot for on-campus shenanigans. The large common space areas provide ample room for games and activites, with plenty of spots for spectators. 

The apartments Cunningham, Ditraglia, and Mal Brown, all receive honorable mentions, but none compare to the hoards of freshmen and sophomores banging on the entrance doors to Suites on weekend nights.

However, last year witnessed the emergence of a tour de force in Aquinas Hall. The sophomore dorm, famous for closet-sized rooms and communal bathrooms, emerged as a contender for the place to be at night. The underdog had previously been a pregame watering hole before heading down to Suites or Eaton. This all changed with the propaganda machine AQ_memes.

The instagram account, created in March 2019, devotes itself entirely to the promotion of the virtues of Aquinas Hall. Weekly content highlights the residents, deemed “AQuties,” resident assistants, and dorm antics as a whole. All posts are angled to expose the superiority of Aquinas Hall in relation to Suites Hall. 

AQ_memes has revolutionized the dorm battles; with over 1,800 followers, Aquinas has a devoted base that will fight to the bitter end against Suites. No comparable Suites account exists.

While the virtual fanbase of Aquinas dwarves that of Suites, a stroll around campus on weekends proves that PC’s preference is still Suites Hall. In order to win the war, AQuties will need to throw a major banger to match their social media tenacity. 

by The Cowl Editor on August 29, 2019

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Features

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I love “Body” by Loud Luxury

There’s so much to do here besides drinking

Top or Bottom?

Friar Family

We are going to do an icebreaker

Ray just makes you get creative

There’s more to PC than Eaton Street

Say a fun fact about yourself

Where’s your texting buddy?

It’s not a forced quad but a maximum occupancy room

The new students this year are bold

Just email Fixit, and they will come right away

I got four hours of sleep and have never felt better

Casino Night is the best event PC offers!

This will be fun, I promise! (Lies through their teeth)