Sarah McLaughlin ’23 You are Plato, turned to heaven’s forms, I am Aristotle, here on Earth. You are Dante, looking up beyond the wall of rock, I am Virgil, eyes upon the ground, my own consultant. But are you really the sturdy tower, unshakeable? What secures your soul in stringent grip? What […]
Grace O’Connor ’22 She waits for hours as her hair is bleached, Piece by piece slowly being painted, In order to not expose her dark roots. She uses a mitt to spread the chocolate-colored mousse on her skin, Spreading it over every inch of her body, Waiting for it to slowly melt into […]
AJ Worsley ’22 “I didn’t even realize it was the same place until this morning. My hands were vibrating, and I had no idea where I was. The side of my face, only mildly sticky from drool, glued me to my pillow. My bed was no longer the only familiar environment.” I am standing in […]
Dear Tiff and Earl, I slipped and fell on the ice in front of an entire civ class coming out of Ruane this morning. No one even helped me up (what happened to “Friars Hold Doors”?). How do I recover from this embarrassment? Sincerely, Professional Ice Skater Dear Professional Ice Skater, The best way out […]
Taylor Rogers ’24 Performativity’s persuasive lies pour out of your pale mouth, Claims that are far from true stretching out your already thin lips. The more you speak, the more my stomach resembles a worn-out washing machine, Churning your chilling words and soiling already clean clothes. Each second feels like days as you […]
Taylor Maguire ’24 It was April in New York. There was that weird uneasiness in the air that made your skin itch. All anyone could say was that “it is absolutely gorgeous outside,” yet the weather almost seemed too good to be true. “I don’t know, I just have a bad feeling about today,” […]
Dear Tiff and Earl, My boyfriend won’t take me on a Valentine’s Day date because it’s too close to Super Bowl Sunday. Should I ditch him for Joe Burrow? Sincerely, Big Bengals Fan Dear Big Bengals Fan, Don’t give up on your man just yet! With a little creativity, you can have your cake and […]
Kathryn Libertini ’23 Download Tinder and Hinge for inspiration. Scroll through the apps with your roommates, creating narratives and citing opinions that will most likely never materialize (but, hey, there’s a chance). Delete Tinder and Hinge. Tell your roommates Valentine’s Day is a “Hallmark Holiday” incentivized by capitalism. Watch How to Lose a Guy in […]
Kate Ward ’23 By the time of his lunch break, Edmund was exhausted from an early morning preparing a case to defend his client. It wasn’t looking good, and frankly, Edmund had little faith that his client would get out of this unscathed. He walked outside to the loud street and waited under a […]
Biggest Red Flags Asked me out to the PC basketball game Is a business major Has a pet monkey Doesn’t read The Cowl Is in their red hair phase (no offense, Sarah) Goes to URI Is Nate Jacobs (from Euphoria) Posts regularly on Yik Yak Gets hazelnut or pecan flavored coffee Has a favorite song […]