Category: Portfolio – Features

Listomania: Ways to Get Accepted into College

Cure cancer Join a fake crew team Sell your soul Have your parents get a second job at the college Create your own college Live in a tent on campus and go to classes until they give you a degree Know a guy Become a prodigy Ask Lori Loughlin for advice Lower your expectations Get […]

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Listomania: Stress Triggers

The PC Men’s Basketball Team Seeing professors in the gym To snow day or not to snow day? The Starbucks line five minutes before class Taking someone else’s laundry out of the machine 11:55 p.m. instead of 11:59 p.m. deadlines The Dunkin’ line on the weekends Walking from Smith to Ruane in between classes Getting […]

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Tiff and Earl

Dear Tiff and Earl With spring break fast approaching, I just learned all my friends are going on a Euro trip next week. The trip is sold out, and I don’t want to be at home all break. What should I do? Yours truly, Fyre Festival   Dearest Fyre Festival, There is only one way […]

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Listomania: What We Hear at PC Men’s Basketball Games

“Sakai Ashton-Langford” “The only reason I’m enjoying this game is because of my drink.” “When are we going to score? My legs are hurting.” “Watson really filled into his body.” “We scored a goal.” “Coach Cooley is a well-dressed man.” “The Shoe Shuffle is rigged.” “Get that man a steak.” “How many periods are left?” […]

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Tiff and Earl

Dear Tiff and Earl, The person I was going to ask to Black and White Ball is already going with someone else and all of my friends have dates. What should I do? Sincerely, Peaked in Middle School   Dear Peaked, First of all, been there, done that! So, after years of going to the […]

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Tiff and Earl

Dear Tiff and Earl, I am alone on Valentine’s Day as per usual. What should I do to treat myself on this very special holiday? Woefully, Lonely Luke   Dearest Lonely Luke, I remember my first lonely Valentine’s Day like it was yesterday. I was 15 years old and my boyfriend of 12 years had […]

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Listomania: Things You Shouldn’t Say to Your Crush

I Googled how to slow dance You smell different when you’re awake You remind me of (insert family member here) We would make cute kids together You look better than usual I love you (#thankunext) I get sweaty when I look at you Have you put on weight? I liked your pictures online better My […]

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What Does ___________ Mean?: The Roving Love Dictionary

What Does ___________ Mean?: The Roving Love Dictionary What does Love mean to you? Love is seeing past the cracks, the missing acts, and the backbreaking tax of loving someone else. You don’t fall in love, you choose to love. by Connor Zimmerman ’20   What does Eye Candy mean to you? Eye candy is […]

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Valentine’s Day Cutouts

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Listomania: Things that make me sad

Ray The fact that I have to figure out what PC Cash is My diminishing PC Prints balance Broken elevators The laundry room being on the ground floor Shoeboxes (aka Aquinas doubles) Lack of insulation in windows Communal bathrooms Physics Professors canceling class but not telling anyone Professors not canceling classes The lack of a […]

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