by Lil Wit ’21 The only thing worse than getting picked last for the kickball team in your middle school gym class is being picked to be a blocked-off seat in classrooms during the pandemic. Accommodations for physical distancing have left many seats empty and purposely blocked off or removed. These chairs have only one […]
by Lil Wit ’21 One of the most noticeable things about coming back to campus this semester is the spaced-out people and the ubiquitous masks. The administration has been working very hard to make sure that everyone is staying safe and following protocols. Even Friar Dom has a special mask. However, there are some […]
by Lil Wit ’21 The mushiest, most lovey-dovey, better-not-be-alone-because-that-sucks day of the year (unless you want to be conventional and remember that this day is actually the feast day for a saint who was martyred for the sake of spreading the Catholic faith and is esteemed in the eyes of the Church to be canonized […]
Dear Santa, I don’t really know if this is in your jurisdiction, but I don’t know who else to ask. The city won’t listen to me, even though I have sent at least six letters (studies show that’s usually the most effective number). I don’t know if you can assemble some of your reindeer and […]
by Lil Elf ’21 It’s that time of year again. There is an unquantifiable amount of glorious aromas emitting from the oven (or maybe it’s just a candle). With the Christmas season inevitably comes the Christmas goodies. However, some people are victims to the less-than-tasty treats. Although the good most certainly outweigh the bad, the […]
My 90-day fiancé The day I spent at a nudist colony My bank account or lack of one My tattoo of Dot Which state my fake ID is from How my roommate’s drug dealer lives with us The demon that visits me every night My plans after graduation My opinions on impeachment The current raging […]
Dear Tiff and Earl, Last year I got crushed in a stampede on Black Friday, and I was in a coma until Christmas. How do I arm myself this year? Best, Blacked Out Friday Dear BOF, There’s this thing called Amazon. It’s prime. Inexpensively, Tiff Dear Ruby Bruiseday, This is no time for […]
by Lil Wit ’21 It’s that time of year again. The leaves are falling, there’s pumpkin spice everywhere, and Thanksgiving is just around the corner. For many students, that means a nice, relaxing weekend home is on the horizon. Others are in for a harder conversation than the one with that creepy uncle you […]
Dear Tiff and Earl, I just found out my roommate is taking the same person to Senior Ring Weekend as me. What happens now? Sincerely, Throuple Trouble Dear Throuble, The only answer is sabotage. Have your roommate’s outfit conveniently disappear and/or accidentally trashed (you could have some fun with that). Although in actuality, this […]
Is water wet? Do you button your shirt up or down? Cereal or milk first? TOH-MAY-TOE or TOH-MAH-TOE? Is a hotdog a sandwich? If you could be one utensil what would it be? Were the ’90s better? Who’s your favorite Power Ranger? Was the moon landing a hoax? Time travel—does it exist? McDonald’s or Burger […]