December 6, 2019

Tiff and Earl

posted on: Friday November 22, 2019

Dear Tiff and Earl,

Last year I got crushed in a stampede on Black Friday, and I was in a coma until Christmas. How do I arm myself this year?

Best,
Blacked Out Friday

 

Dear BOF, 

There’s this thing called Amazon. It’s prime. 

Inexpensively,
Tiff

 

Dear Ruby Bruiseday, 

This is no time for caution. Offense is the best defense. So, when it comes to shopping, that means we need to ready our “May I Talk To Your Manager” attitude and get down to business. Black Friday takes a team, so make sure you’ve got a forward, backward, and sideways tackle. And a helmet. And snacks. The enemy doesn’t want you to succeed, but they won’t expect you to be organized. Shock them with your coupon skills and awe them as you burn rubber with your shopping cart through the aisles of your nearest Target. This is not a noble fight, but it’s one we fight nonetheless. 

Bravely,
Earl

 

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