by Connor Zimmerman on February 14, 2020

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Dear Tiff and Earl,

I just found out that my significant other is allergic to every single flower known to man and hates all chocolate (I promise she’s fun!), and CVS has nothing else that is Valentine’s Day related. What should I get her?

Nervously,
Drug Store Drags

 

Dear DSD,

Don’t sell CVS short. Just because it’s not related to Valentine’s Day doesn’t mean it isn’t a thoughtful gift. Nothing says love like a bottle of laxatives (she’ll thank you later). 

Regularly,
Tiff

 

Dear Druggie, 

Flowers and chocolate won’t do anything your personality hasn’t proven. Your woman knows who you are, so just be yourself. Offer her the rest of the pizza you’ve already eaten half of. Give her a hug, after you’ve wiped the Cheeto dust off your fingers and onto the frayed undershirt you’re still wearing after three days. Just show her you care, even if that’s by giving her the Disney+ password. She needs the nostalgia more than you need The Mandalorian. After all, who knows, afterwards you might “Kiss the Girl” or even “Go the Distance” with her. 

Lovingly,
Earl

by Connor Zimmerman on February 14, 2020

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by Lil Wit ’21

The mushiest, most lovey-dovey, better-not-be-alone-because-that-sucks day of the year (unless you want to be conventional and remember that this day is actually the feast day for a saint who was martyred for the sake of spreading the Catholic faith and is esteemed in the eyes of the Church to be canonized and revered for his example of dedication to our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ) is upon us. Valentine’s Day is arguably—and by arguably, I mean that if you argue against this, you’ll lose—an overly-commercialized day, but it provides us with an excuse to remind the people whom we love that we love them.  However, Valentine’s Day also brings the dreaded responsibility of getting a thoughtful gift for your significant other.  So, we hit the sidewalks to see what ideas PC students have for Valentine’s Day gifts.  Sophomore Fred Drick offered this advice: “A homemade gift is the way to go. Usually they’re less expensive and if your S.O. hates it, it’s not like they can return it, but they can still see you tried. I’ve used old Cowls to make a few paper-mâché life-sized replicas of my girlfriend in the past, and she hasn’t said anything negative about it yet, so I take that as a green light.  But you want to be really good at paper-mache if you’re going to do that or else she’ll think you think she’s ugly. Whatever you do, make sure it comes from the heart and not Hallmark. Don’t feed the capitalist beast.”

by Connor Zimmerman on February 14, 2020

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by Mark Fairchild ’20

by The Cowl Editor on February 14, 2019

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Dear Tiff and Earl,

I am alone on Valentine’s Day as per usual. What should I do to treat myself on this very special holiday?

Woefully,
Lonely Luke

 

Dearest Lonely Luke,

I remember my first lonely Valentine’s Day like it was yesterday. I was 15 years old and my boyfriend of 12 years had just broken up with me. Angered by all of the happy couples around me on Feb. 14, I watched rom-coms in my room alone and ate buckets of ice cream. It was delightful! I found that I am happier when I’m by myself. Who needs human contact anyways? It’s so overrated! Cats and dogs and parrots are much better company anyways.

Hope this helps!
Tiff

 

Dear Loose Lucas,

To start things off, your standards are probably too high. Needy PC gals have been on the hunt for mates since they ate nothing but kale chips over Christmas break. Get over yourself, not every relationship is going to be with a Brownie who keeps you up at night with her mysterious texts. Just set the bar lower, and you’ll have a date. If not, there’s always Yuck Truck to fill the void either alcohol or Single’s Awareness Day has left in your stomach.

Best of luck,
Earl

by The Cowl Editor on February 14, 2019

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I Googled how to slow dance

You smell different when you’re awake

You remind me of (insert family member here)

We would make cute kids together

You look better than usual

I love you (#thankunext)

I get sweaty when I look at you

Have you put on weight?

I liked your pictures online better

My other personalities and I think you’re cute

My mom said I should talk to you

I think we are cousins

I accidentally swiped right

I knew you were the one from the moment I heard your voice on Xbox live

by The Cowl Editor on February 14, 2019

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by Mark Fairchild ’20

by The Cowl Editor on February 14, 2019

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by Erin Lucey ’20

February 14, 2014

Dear Diary,

Today will be my third time leaving the comfort of my cozy yet dreary, constantly bustling yet lonely hospital room since I moved in four months ago. I only really leave for very special occasions–the past two being my 25th birthday and Christmas Day. I was a little confused as to why I was leaving for Valentine’s Day. Ever since the accident I’ve had trouble remembering my relatives, for Christ’s sake. I was not sure why anyone would even consider taking me out on a date in this condition.

However, Mom begged me to say yes to this cute boy who visits my hospital room every weekend. I couldn’t decide if he was creepy. The first couple of months that I was here, I would often ask him to leave. I felt bad because he was always really nice, but I was having a really difficult time adjusting to my life here. I didn’t even remember my parents when I first woke up. I needed time to do the whole get-to-know-my-own-family thing. He was always super understanding, which I really appreciated. He would leave with a smile, never offended or frustrated, and would show up at the same time the next weekend like clockwork.

At first, I thought he was a volunteer for the hospital. Probably some random guy that was bored on the weekends looking for some easy community service hours, popping into the inpatient rooms and trying to chat someone up until he convinced himself that he has somehow fulfilled his duty. That first theory was shot down when I saw my mom talking to him in the hallway after I asked him to leave one day. Before they parted ways she hugged him and then kissed him on the cheek. My mom is not an overly affectionate person, so that was a dead giveaway that he is much more familiar than I thought.

After that, I was pretty convinced that he was a close family friend–someone I grew up with that happens to live in the area. He’d never mentioned anything about how we knew each other before I wound up here. I was surprised when he asked me on a Valentine’s Day date. While I did have a bit of a crush on him at that point, it did not feel like we were necessarily hitting it off during his short visits.

Anyway, he is here to pick me up right now. I ran back into the room to put the flowers he gave me in water before we go. Just as I lift the bouquet into the vase I see it…an engagement ring…with a note that reads “Round Two?”-J

by The Cowl Editor on February 14, 2019

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by Jessica Polanco ’20

To survive a little longer,
Gather all of the ingredients
That bring you life.

Set the stove at a low temperature,
Place the smallest pot above it with
A small amount of precipitation.
Once it all hydrates
Sprinkle the last bit of hope in your soul.

Next,
Invite the love of your life over and
Sprinkle the fear that whispers through his eyes
Allow the hope to burn,
Let the fear steam
Until you feel the heat
Against your skin.

Then,
Add a gallon of the treasure that finds itself locked up in your touch,
And ask your partner to pour out the last cup of passion
That he still stores in his ribs
Until it comes to a boil.

Add a pinch of the cariño that hides in the hugs,
And share a kiss before adding it into the pot.
Gather two cups,
And when you feel the steam against your heart,
Then you will know it’s time to pour it all out,
Equally amongst the uneven mugs,
And you can enjoy the warmth of the refreshment.

by The Cowl Editor on February 14, 2019

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by Julia Zygiel ’19

In the soft dew of morning’s twilight, when birds and beetles silently meditate for a fraction of a second, I love you. In the subtle crinkle of your not-yet-crow’s feet winking at me, and the scent of your honeyed lip balm when you knight my nose with a kiss, I love you. With the smile of a joke hidden behind hands, the flash of teeth at a clever line, you pull me deeper in. My hair feathers against your shoulder, your elbow nudges my ribcage as you reposition yourself in the way that you love me. Nightly routines that root our love deeper in the soil.

We’ll say it was winter when we first uttered, “I love you,” but the first time I felt it was months before. The sunlight made your eyes look like glowing, melting gold and they filled my heart with molten affection. Now, it’s fingers entwined, wrists cradled to chests and chins and cheeks cupped in palms. All we are is a series of movements, tenderness given organs and skin and life. Love incarnate.

by The Cowl Editor on February 14, 2019

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by Sarah Kirchner ’21

It was supposed to be a better day
A day of love and a feeling of happiness
But then he disappeared.
He left me alone for another girl.
Days were spent being each other’s.
Together we were strong, or at least I thought.
It felt like we could do anything,
Our love filled a room and made me believe.
I believed in a love that he created
With late night talks that ended with him
Holding me tight and a feeling of home.
For two years, he was my person.
He was my Valentine.
He was the world that I was living for,
And I know that wasn’t right.
I needed to live for myself
And be the better person I was before him.
This year, I’ll be my own Valentine,
And he can have her and be happy again.
He’ll be happier than he was with me,
But I’ll be happier too. I’ll be strong.
I’ll be my own, without him.