Love Limericks

by Connor Zimmerman on February 14, 2020


Poetry


A little heart drawn on a poetry book
Photo courtesy of pixabay.com

Short and Sweet
by Sarah Heavren ’21

Master of the cleverest pun,
You make all the boring things fun.
I hope you know
And that I show
You’re loved by a certain someone.

Staycation
by Samantha Pellman ’20

What do I get him for Valentine’s Day?
Plan something special, they all say
So I booked a vacation
At the very best location
A ticket to Greece and it’s a one-way!

Glacier
by Jay Willett ’20

Frost gales frolic, shrouding all we could see.
Eyjafjallajökull explodes on the bended knee.
Not with fire, but with hope,
alone together on our slope.
One proposition, one question, and I’m finally free.

Money Can’t Buy Love
by Sarah McLaughlin ’23

There once was a broke college student
Who thought it would be rather prudent
To skip buying flowers
And instead work twelve hours
Which prompted his love life’s conclusion.

Dead Languages Don’t Get You Dates
by Sean Tobin ’20

I once tried to flirt in Italian.
By nature I’m no Latin stallion.
I learned Greek with ease,
Ancient Hebrew’s a breeze,
But for romance they get no medallion. 

Fast Fiction: Dream First Date

by Connor Zimmerman on February 14, 2020


Features


Love spelled out in red glittery letters
Photo courtesy of pixabay.com

In six words or less write a story about your dream first date… Go!

Only us drowned in candlelight.
by Grace O’Connor ’22

 

A good laugh…all I need.
by Erin Venuti ’20

 

Netflix, Hulu, Amazon Prime, Disney+, and…
by Connor Zimmerman ’20

 

They laugh together, and she’s happy.
Clara Howard ’20

 

Stole my heart, then my wallet.
by Kate Ward ’23

 

Ends with plans for a second.
by Sarah McLaughlin ’23

A Real Galentine’s Day

by Connor Zimmerman on February 14, 2020


Poetry


by Samantha Pellman ’20

It’s a Friday night at 6 p.m.
The sky is dark already
The air is cold.

To us it’s just a Friday night
But to others it’s the most romantic day of the year.
We don’t look at it that way.

A hand holing up a polaroid picture of friends together
Photos courtesy of pexels.com

We stand in front of the mirror
Curling our hair
And putting on mascara.

Laughing together
And sipping wine
Tonight will be one for the books.

It’s a night to celebrate our freedom
We’re only young for so long
We’ll be wishing to be at this stage in life again.

We’re leaving our phones home tonight
We don’t need to get in contact with anyone
This night is for us.

I take candid pictures of my friends
So we can remember how happy we were
Just to have each other. 

Valentine’s Day is wonderful
But for now, it’s me and my girls
We’re all we need tonight and always.

 

Below, a guide for writing a love poem to your sweetheart (or boogabear, snookems, or tootsie wootsie)

by Connor Zimmerman on February 14, 2020


Poetry


A pile of rose petals
Photo courtesy of pexels.com

by Sam Ward ’21

To better understand love and its treasures,
You must first reexamine your loyalty to vices.
You are not ready to love unless you take the right measures.
Would you keep caffeine in the A.M. if Starbucks raised its prices?

Wag your finger to rom-coms, even Paul Rudd ones.
Love has no place for a man who makes silly puns.
Say no to chocolate in bed, sugar for breakfast.
To forgo these things is to keep your heart the freshest.

A rose is still a rose, if you detest it,
And a bed full of petals is no place to rest in.
Flowery poetry makes you look like a sap,
Now say, “Valentine’s Day is crap!”

Personal Space

by Connor Zimmerman on February 14, 2020


Comics and Drawings


by Mark Fairchild ’20

An astronaut is in a bar on Valentine's Day drinking alone and he comments that "She wanted someone long term, but I couldn't comet."
Cartoon by Mark Fairchild ’20

Listomania: How to make someone fall in love with you

by Connor Zimmerman on February 14, 2020


Features


Stand outside their dorm room with a boombox

Leave them on open on Snapchat

DM their ex on Instagram

Take them out to Ray

Photoshop them into pictures with you

Bring them chicken nuggets on Thursday

Go to the chapel with them

Express your feelings in Morning Mail

Steal a golf cart and drive them to their classes

Hide under their bed

Give them all your Friarbucks

Tell Dot to tell them how you feel

Buy their Black and White Ball ticket (if $20 isn’t an act of love, I don’t know what is)

Wear clean clothes

Wear their clothes

Request their location on Find My Friends

Watch You for tips

Get them the flame from Slavin lawn instead of a candle

Tiff and Earl

by Connor Zimmerman on February 14, 2020


Features


Dear Tiff and Earl,

I just found out that my significant other is allergic to every single flower known to man and hates all chocolate (I promise she’s fun!), and CVS has nothing else that is Valentine’s Day related. What should I get her?

Nervously,
Drug Store Drags

 

Dear DSD,

Don’t sell CVS short. Just because it’s not related to Valentine’s Day doesn’t mean it isn’t a thoughtful gift. Nothing says love like a bottle of laxatives (she’ll thank you later). 

Regularly,
Tiff

 

Dear Druggie, 

Flowers and chocolate won’t do anything your personality hasn’t proven. Your woman knows who you are, so just be yourself. Offer her the rest of the pizza you’ve already eaten half of. Give her a hug, after you’ve wiped the Cheeto dust off your fingers and onto the frayed undershirt you’re still wearing after three days. Just show her you care, even if that’s by giving her the Disney+ password. She needs the nostalgia more than you need The Mandalorian. After all, who knows, afterwards you might “Kiss the Girl” or even “Go the Distance” with her. 

Lovingly,
Earl

Friartire: Showing How You Really Feel

by Connor Zimmerman on February 14, 2020


Features


by Lil Wit ’21

The mushiest, most lovey-dovey, better-not-be-alone-because-that-sucks day of the year (unless you want to be conventional and remember that this day is actually the feast day for a saint who was martyred for the sake of spreading the Catholic faith and is esteemed in the eyes of the Church to be canonized and revered for his example of dedication to our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ) is upon us. Valentine’s Day is arguably—and by arguably, I mean that if you argue against this, you’ll lose—an overly-commercialized day, but it provides us with an excuse to remind the people whom we love that we love them.  However, Valentine’s Day also brings the dreaded responsibility of getting a thoughtful gift for your significant other.  So, we hit the sidewalks to see what ideas PC students have for Valentine’s Day gifts.  Sophomore Fred Drick offered this advice: “A homemade gift is the way to go. Usually they’re less expensive and if your S.O. hates it, it’s not like they can return it, but they can still see you tried. I’ve used old Cowls to make a few paper-mâché life-sized replicas of my girlfriend in the past, and she hasn’t said anything negative about it yet, so I take that as a green light.  But you want to be really good at paper-mache if you’re going to do that or else she’ll think you think she’s ugly. Whatever you do, make sure it comes from the heart and not Hallmark. Don’t feed the capitalist beast.”

The Friar Boys: Bachelor Edition

by Connor Zimmerman on February 14, 2020


Comics and Drawings


by Mark Fairchild ’20

Friar dom tells Huxley that the Bachelor is even better now that McPhails is showing it on Mondays, and Huxley shushes him
Cartoon by Mark Fairchild ’20

Tiff and Earl

by The Cowl Editor on February 14, 2019


Features


Dear Tiff and Earl,

I am alone on Valentine’s Day as per usual. What should I do to treat myself on this very special holiday?

Woefully,
Lonely Luke

 

Dearest Lonely Luke,

I remember my first lonely Valentine’s Day like it was yesterday. I was 15 years old and my boyfriend of 12 years had just broken up with me. Angered by all of the happy couples around me on Feb. 14, I watched rom-coms in my room alone and ate buckets of ice cream. It was delightful! I found that I am happier when I’m by myself. Who needs human contact anyways? It’s so overrated! Cats and dogs and parrots are much better company anyways.

Hope this helps!
Tiff

 

Dear Loose Lucas,

To start things off, your standards are probably too high. Needy PC gals have been on the hunt for mates since they ate nothing but kale chips over Christmas break. Get over yourself, not every relationship is going to be with a Brownie who keeps you up at night with her mysterious texts. Just set the bar lower, and you’ll have a date. If not, there’s always Yuck Truck to fill the void either alcohol or Singles Awareness Day has left in your stomach.

Best of luck,
Earl