Dear Tiff and Earl, The spider hanging over my bed is whispering sweet nothings into my ear. How do I proceed? Cautiously, Slightly Interested Dear Slightly Interested, It’s 2019, so no judgment here. The one thing I would say is make sure she doesn’t have kids because that could be a pain. She’d be […]
by Daniel Carrero ’23 I wonder if I walked like you when I was your age. There was an innocent bounce to your step. You probably thought me and Coz pulled up on you by surprise. You probably thought you walked onto the wrong block on the wrong day and ran into the wrong people. […]
by Sarah McLaughlin ’23 Tourists converge from Earth’s every corner to see The piece of the past stored on this pebbled beach All paths extending westward from the east Meet here, the first of our nation’s vertices It’s so special to so many, apparently To view—The Rock—which began our history They’ve never switched it out, […]
by Sean Tobin ’20 One of mine, but given: Today when I arise And see slow-rolling skies Illuminate what lies This bleak side of heaven, Just one thought do I save— How bless’d this northern shore; The same which fathers fore, Sea-sick, God-starved, back-sore, Saw and knew they must have; We know the sounds she […]
eSports Basket Weaving How to Tap a Keg Sodexo Cooking How to Get into Credit Card Debt Avocado Toast Colloquium History of the Marvel Cinematic Universe Metaphysics of Living in an Aquinas Double Ray Burnt Toast Prevention Ethics of Cult Leadership Honors Procrastination Difference Between PC Cash and Friarbucks Spongebob and the Seven Deadly Sins […]
by Pooh Bear Fanatic ’21 Xi Jinping, president of the People’s Republic of China, made headlines last week when reports of his lawsuit against Walt Disney Productions resurfaced for their use of his likeness in their depiction of Winnie the Pooh. The suit, filed in 2014, claimed that President Jinping’s, 66, likeness had been used […]
Dear Tiff and Earl, I’m allergic to pumpkin spice. How do I assimilate into society? Blandly, Not-Spice Girl Dear Blandly, That’s really tough, especially this time of year. But a pumpkin is just a gourd, so you can make a new flavor by experimenting with other plants to make a new scent. I would stay […]
Dear Tiff and Earl, I have no idea what a cowl is. Can you please tell me? Confused, A Boogie Wit a Cowl Dear Boogie Wit, A cowl is the newspaper you are currently holding to read this. I mean, it says “Cowl” in big letters on the front, so it is kind of […]
The blood of my enemies Ice Only toppings Sour Patch Kids White Claw Apple cider Pumpkin spice Mystery ;) Ray leftovers Jungle juice Mint Juul pods McPhail’s popcorn Chicken nugget (broccoli topping option) Four Loko Tide Pod Insomnia Cookie A full night’s sleep Chipotle Yuck Truck Liquid cheese