Hey Tiff and Earl, I think my roommate is attempting to sacrifice me so they can get all As on their midterms. They’ve been burning multiple candles in my room, claiming they suddenly want to become fluent in Latin, and told me they need to practice for some “ritual” that will happen in our room […]
Things to hide from my parents before they visit My extensive stash of alcohol My Urban Outfitters corset My credit card statement My unopened textbooks My shot glasses My “White Lies” T-shirt My bowl The 100s of opened tabs on my laptop My significant other’s sweatshirts (they think I’m single) My significant other
To ghost or be ghosted? Perhaps we have all been in this situation. Regardless, the temperatures are beginning to drop, so read to find out easy ways to avoid the awkward moments of this upcoming cuffing season. Don’t text him. Like actually, don’t. Schedule a girls’ night with your roommates! Treat yourself to getting coffee […]
by Kathryn Libertini ’23 INT. AT A PARTY ME Hey what’s up! You okay? FINANCE MAJOR Yeah kinda. Ever since the market closed on Friday and Dogecoin went down I’ve just felt awful about myself. ME It’s just a stock, I’m sure it will go back up! FINANCE MAJOR Do you even know what […]
Fiona Clarke ’23 Welcome back to “Stupid Things People Say.” This week, our topic is “Living in the State of the Obvious (And Why You Should Immigrate).” A few years ago, I was minding my own business at soccer practice, surrounded by a gaggle of chirping teenage girls, waiting in line for my turn […]
Artists We Should’ve Had For Spring Concert Pitbull The Rock Will Smith (ft. Chris Rock) Machine Gun Kelly Frank Sinatra (hologram version) Macklemore Doja Cat Kanye West (featuring Skeet) Travis Scott Dr. Taylor Swift Shawn Mendes (post breakup tour?) Rihanna (post hiatus tour?) Ed Sheeran My Chemical Romance Big Time Rush (without Dixie D’Amelio) (sans […]
Aidan Lerner ’22 I forgot to write my Cowl article for this week. Today is Sunday, and I am a little panicked. I pride myself on my ability to be responsible and to come through for the people who rely on me, whether it be in work or school. That is why I am […]