Tiffany and Earl

by The Cowl Editor on August 31, 2017


Keep Calm and Ask
Photo courtesy of


Dear Tiff and Earl,

I ordered my books from the bookstore yesterday, but they’re on backorder.  I need them for the first week and have no friends.  What do I do?!?!




Dear Not-A-Bookworm,

First off, I am very confused as to why you having no friends has anything to do with the fact that your books are on backorder. That seems like a completely separate problem, and one I have no interest in answering. Youll either have to deal with that on your own, or learn to be content as a loner with no books.

As for the book situation, there are a few things you could do. Go to the library, rent what you need on Amazon, or ask a friend to borrow their book.

Actually, since you have no friends, that third option isn’t exactly possible. Too bad. To be honest, if you’re looking for friends you probably shouldnt be reading much anyways.

Also note that just because I am offering some advice does not mean that were friends.



Dear Not,

“Backorder.” Yeah, right. It’s high time this bookstore understands supply and demand.

You need to act. Forget your classes this week and instead organize a coup on the scourge that is the bookstore. You’ll soon learn that having friends isn’t as important as having obedient subjects when you’re ruling the school as your own kingdom.

Pick up some Machiavelli for inspiration. Rally your dorm. Build the resistance. Earn your glory.