Dear Tiff and Earl,
What is and isn’t acceptable to wear as a Halloween costume here at PC?
In Need Of Candy
Dear In Need of Candy,
Your question is tricky, but the answer is a real treat. Fun thing about Halloween: the fewer clothes, the better. The more offensive, the more hilarious. I encourage you to push boundaries, and know the sky is truly the limit. We live in a world of political correctness, so let this be your night to break free of those bonds and show up wearing almost nothing. You’ll thank me in the long run when your Instagram likes skyrocket.
You’ll be hard-pressed to find a guy in anything that represents real costume effort. Most will don the same ratty jersey they sport every Saturday night. Why would they make any attempt to dress up when the gals hardly put anything on themselves? Anyway, if candy is what you seek, don’t worry about costumes at all. Get a good night’s rest and head out early Nov. 1 to snag all of the unsold candy at decent prices. That’s the best way to get a head start on your annual holiday weight gain, which I can proudly say I’ve begun myself.
*This is a satire column that does not reflect the views of The Cowl or Providence College.