Dear Tiff and Earl,
Kylo Ren: hot or not?
Definitely Not Finn
Ya know, if Kylo Ren was a girl, I would call him a “butter face,” or “but her face.” His body is so hot. Like sooooo hot. His face is… eh. So I guess he’s a “but his face?” Can we make that a thing?
Cause man, would I be into him…but I would need to close my eyes when I was looking at his face.
All the best,
I’m leaning towards “not.” I guess I’m not that Force sensitive, or whatever. I’m a family man, so I wasn’t very excited when he killed his own father. I will admit, I have considered killing my own father. He doesn’t understand my sarcastic quest to answer the most pressing questions at Providence College. Also, he makes such a big deal over dog gender. I don’t care if your corgi is a male or female as long as I get to hug it.
*This is a satirical column that does not reflect the views of Providence College or The Cowl.