Dear Tiff and Earl,
My girlfriend wants to go out for nice dinner on Valentine’s Day, but I’m set on going to the PC vs. Villanova game. She’s not really a fan of basketball. How should I bring up this obviously sensitive issue without getting put in the dog house?
Kiss Cam Hopeful
This is a tricky one.
I want to say break up with her.
I also want to say SCREW YOU for putting a BASKETBALL GAME BEFORE YOUR GIRLFRIEND!
Are you an idiot? How many freaking basketball games have you gone to while you have been at PC? Go take your girl out to some fancy-ass restaurant, buy her chocolates, maybe a pretty necklace, and maybe go out to see 50 Shades Freed.
Trust me, if you’ll do that you’ll have a much better evening than if you take her to a PC basketball game. After watching a movie like that, you’re sure to spend a night in handcuffs, which in my opinion are much better than basketballs.
Dear Mr. Desperate,
If you’re hoping to get on the Kiss Cam, you definitely don’t belong at the ’Nova game. Valentine’s Day isn’t about you. It’s not about her. It’s about selling cards and chocolate in between Christmas and Easter. If you really want to stick it to those miserly capitalists, just buy your chocolate after it goes on sale and stop trying to take advantage of your girlfriend at sporting events.