Dear Tiff and Earl,
I just woke up, and I wish I didn’t. I’m covered in Mondoz ranch dressing and I might’ve stolen a poster from them. I even called them the other night to say hi. I think I have a problem. What do I do?
Admitting you have a problem is the first step. You could take this opportunity to form an MA group—Mondoz Anonymous. Something tells me you’re not the only one with this problem. You can all bond over some pizza (depending on the severity of the issue; you wouldn’t want to be insensitive).
Dear Manic Mondo,
Say hello to my little friend, Big Tony. I think this is a problem that only a good fella like him can solve. I make a few phone calls and all of this disappears. After all, Big Tony is one for making offers which can’t be refused…