Friartire: PC Squirrels vs. Corona

by The Cowl Editor on September 3, 2020



Cartoon squirrel holding a nut
Photos courtesy of and Graphic design by Sarah Kirchner ’21

by Lil Wit ’21

One of the most noticeable things about coming back to campus this semester is the spaced-out people and the ubiquitous masks. The administration has been working very hard to make sure that everyone is staying safe and following protocols. Even Friar Dom has a special mask. However, there are some members of the campus community who do not seem to be adapting well to this temporary, yet new way of life: the campus squirrels. They’ve had it easy while campus has been unpopulated for the summer, but now that students are coming back, they are going to be held to the same standards as everyone else. I would hate to be the squirrel RA breaking up all the squirrel parties this semester. You can tell by the acorn wreckage and lack of bushy tails on Saturday mornings that they like to celebrate after a hard week. The College has yet to come out with potential disciplinary actions to administer to the squirrels who fail to comply with the guidelines. None of the squirrels seem to be wearing masks, and they are not setting a good example for the students. When asked about the squirrels’ lack of compliance, Fr. Joseph Schmoe replied, “We’re all making sacrifices here. Living outdoors and in a tree wouldn’t excuse any student from wearing a mask and physically distancing, so we shouldn’t be making exceptions.”