Dear Tiff and Earl,
I’ve had four Halloween costumes picked out for the past year. Now that Halloween is canceled, what should I do?
Incapable of Returning Packages to Amazon
Dear Clearly Has Never Utilized the Convenience of Dropping Things Off at the UPS Store,
Might as well start integrating these costumes into your regular wardrobe. If some of them come with a mask, then that’s even better given the present circumstances. Professors should start giving style points for Zoom classes. Some people aren’t even putting in the effort to put on a pair of pants, but you’d be blowing them out of the water by wearing a costume. These are the days for fashion experiments.
My address is 1 Cunningham Square, Providence, RI, 02918. I am in need of a spooky costume and it seems like you have one to spare. My plans: sit on the couch and eat as much chocolate as I can. Actually, that is what I do on a normal Halloween anyways. You might consider doing the same.