Dear Tiff & Earl,
Meatless Fridays have begun. Any suggestions on how I can smuggle in and/or find some meat on campus?
I believe I have to defer your question to Arby’s, because they are quite confident that they have the meats.
Smuggling is the way to go. I have decided to compile a comprehensive list of the best meat-based items on the Big Tony’s menu for you. Number one: the Donnie Brasco. A McDermott favorite, this wrap will be sure to cure your Friday-at-2 a.m. cravings. Number two: the Lucky Luciano. Another meat-filled delight, make sure to order it right behind the library for maximum enjoyment. Number three: the meatball calzone. A Tony’s classic, this meal is as comforting as the Morning Mail. Enjoy!