by The Cowl Editor on October 21, 2021
Dear Tiff and Earl,
None of my professors can ever find dry-erase markers. Where have they all gone?
Weekend Whiteboard Worrier
Dear Weekend Whiteboard Worrier,
Your professors know exactly where those markers are. This is a power play. When your professor is fumbling at the podium, and her eyes start darting crazily, and she drops to the floor and starts crawling, you had better wake up. (She might be under your chair in a moment.) When she springs back up with the marker she’s pulled out of her shoe, you will be relieved, but still a little scared. You didn’t know what she would have done without that marker. You were worried. Yes, now she’s got you. Or, when your professor begins to look sheepishly all around, and his shoulders begin to sag, and his eyes begin to get a little shiny, you will be touched. Raging against the vicious marker-removing forces, you will pity him, vow to defend him. Yes, now he’s got you…
Dear Weekend Whiteboard Worrier
Haven’t you heard of PC’s Underground Whiteboard Reclamation Movement (UWRM)? This group of revolutionaries takes to the classrooms of Ruane, Ryan, and more in the dead of night to liberate the whiteboard markers of Providence College from their use as weapons in the crusade of academia. Every Saturday night in an undisclosed location, they meet and put these markers to their true use—drawing cute pictures of puppies. I fear that I’ve said too much. If I go missing, you’ll know why.
You didn’t hear anything from me,