Tiff and Earl

by trogers5 on February 17, 2022


Dear Tiff and Earl, 
I slipped and fell on the ice in front of an entire civ class coming out of Ruane this morning. No one even helped me up (what happened to “Friars Hold Doors”?). How do I recover from this embarrassment?
Professional Ice Skater

Dear Professional Ice Skater,
The best way out of a faux pas is to make it seem intentional. Don’t be afraid to be idiosyncratic. You head right back out and wipe out on that ice as dramatically as you can. If you’re nervous, have a shot of some liquid courage first. Repeat as necessary until your reputation is no longer that of a ham-footed klutz, but that of a brave and interesting individual. It’s foolproof, believe  me.

image of tiff

Dear Professional Ice Skater, 
Revenge is a dish best served ice-cold. The night before the next time this civ class meets, dump buckets of cold water on the spot you tripped on and let mother nature do the rest. Those students will rue the day that they betrayed the most sacred law of Providence College: “Friars Hold Doors.” Sure, some innocent people might succumb to your icy trap as well, but if your ice skating career doesn’t work out, this will make for a great villain origin story.
Watch out for ice, ice, baby!

image of earl