by Joseph Quirk on December 8, 2022
Sports
Greetings fellow bettors. I know everyone has been clamoring for my return, so fear not; the Shepherd is back. I have spent these past few weeks in my lair consuming nothing but dairy products and getting ready for this week’s NFL slate. I have truly missed you all and I am here to get you those extra few bucks for the Christmas season. How about we end the semester off with four locks big enough to secure Fort Knox?
My first lock of the week is the Lions moneyline over the Vikings. The Vikings are 10–2, having a historical season, and good for them. Do you know what else they are? Absolute frauds. You can say whatever you want about Justin Jefferson and Davlin Cook, but the Vikings will lose this game. The scariest part of the team is Kirk Cousins not playing in prime time. Despite this, Vegas has pegged this as a fraud game for the Vikings. This is a rat line that I’m sniffing out for you. Don’t be the rat that takes the cheese on the fraud Vikings. I’ll take the Lions to win in a surprisingly exciting 27–20 showdown.
This next lock might surprise some of you folks. It goes against everything I’ve been preaching in the gambling corner. Jimmy G is out for the year, killing the 49ers Super Bowl chances. Despite this, they can still win some games. This is a rush first offense that doesn’t need a good quarterback . Don’t get me wrong, Brock Purdy is awful, but he’s in the perfect situation to win a few games. Deebo Samuel and Christian McCaffrey are going to rush for 200 combined yards against a good Buccaneers defense. The 49ers will have the ball all day and win in a very ugly game. This might be the worst game of the whole week to watch. Even though it’s ugly, it’s free money. This time we are the rats and take the 49ers to cover –3 in a low scoring ugly game. The Shepherd is bold enough to see the trap and still beat Vegas. I’ll take the 49ers to win and cover 16–9.
My mortal lock of the week is the Broncos vs. Chiefs under. The NFL needs to make the Broncos games PG-13. Russell Wilson is so bad we cannot expose our youth to his games. The unders are 10–1 in Broncos games and for good reason. They have a top five defense with an offense that stinks out loud. Russell Wilson has more bathrooms in his house (12) than touchdowns in the year (eight). This is the easiest pick of the week. Russell Wilson should be in jail for making good Americans watch him play football. I’ll take the Chiefs to get a very boring 20–6 win with the under, 41.5, never in doubt. Look to get an alternate line on the Broncos team points under 9.5 if you can.
I’ll toss in a fun parlay for the sheep as well. The college football playoffs are coming sooner than some would think, and I love the games. TCU is even worse than the Vikings. Michigan will be able to just roll over their soft Big 12 defense and win easy and cover the 8.5 no problem. Georgia is built just like Michigan, and I’d give them the edge over Michigan due to the Blake Corum injury. Georgia will roll over Ohio State just like Michigan did a few weeks back. A parlay of Georgia -7 with Michigan -8.5 is +245 last I’ve looked. This is juicy and I love it. Take the free money Vegas is handing out to us and enjoy your holidays.
As always, gambling can be addictive and if you feel you have an issue call 1-800-GAMBLER for help. Gambling should only be done within your means with money you can afford to lose.