The Tragic End of Alexander the Ant

by Connor Rohan '24 on February 16, 2023
Portfolio Staff


The sun rose very slowly over a large field of grass. It was a lazy summer afternoon. People were taking walks, having picnics, feeding the ducks, or just laying down. What they didn’t know was that right under their noses in the blades of grass was a little ant fighting for his life. Now the ant in question wasn’t in any danger, at least not yet, but he was fighting a battle between it and all the other insects in that field. Needle in hand and armor on, the little ant warrior was holding its ground–not letting any of his contestants survive. This ant was not alone because he had a partner who wasn’t nearly as into fighting monsters and was cowering underneath a tiny rock fearing for his safety.

“You know, typically when there are giant monsters we run away from them! Not go charging head first into battle!”

The knight ant just laughs.

“But then how would we win any glory? Come now, Clark, if we took the coward’s way out then someone would beat us to it!”

Clark just deadpans underneath the rock, his voice full of exasperation.

“Yeah but if you die, then where’s all that glory go? Have you thought about that Alexander?”

Alexander drives his needle into the head of a giant centipede and it falls to the ground, writhing as it dies. Once it does, Alexander sits down on its corpse and looks deep in thought.

“Where would all the glory go…? I do not know! But I am not dead nor can I die so that is a problem I do not have to worry about!”

Clark comes out from his hiding spot and carefully maneuvers his way through the battlefield, trying to avoid touching the scattered remains of other larger bugs until he’s made his way in front of Alexander.

“Please. You gotta understand that you aren’t immortal. You keep throwing your life at every giant creature hoping that by dying you secure more of a name for yourself but you don’t, all you do is put your own life in danger, why do you think I come on these horrifying adventures? It’s to be the voice of reason in your head that you clearly don’t have.” Alexander places a hand on Clarks shoulder and nods.

“I appreciate your concern, dearest friend, but you have nothing to worry about! There is nothing in this world that can kill me!”

Suddenly a huge shadow falls over Clark and Alexander, it falls over most of the land around them, they look up to see a giant pink monster. Its green spheres focused and centered on both of them. It lets out a booming roar. “Ant!” and a giant pink meat stick descends from the heavens smashing into the ground next to them causing the ground to shake intensely. Clark runs for cover.

“Shit! It’s a giant! We gotta go!” His gaze falls onto Alexander who hasn’t moved. “What are you doing? Get the hell out of there!”

But Alexander doesn’t move, instead he charges directly at the giant pink meat stick. Much to Clark’s fear.

“What are you doing?”

Alexander just laughs.

“Think of the glory!”

“You idiot! It’s like 400 times your size! You’re going to die!”

Alexander laughs again.

“I’ll only die if I’m killed!”

Clark shakes his head in confusion.

“Wh..What! That’s what being killed means, you idiot!”

Alexander had made his way onto the pink meat stick and the giant let out another loud roar.

“Mom! The ant is on my finger! I think it likes me!”

Clark continues to cower behind some blades of grass.

“It noticed you! You hear its war cry? Come down here before it murders you!”

But Clark’s pleading fell on deaf ears as Alexander was already making his way up the arm of the giant dodging hands and holding onto dear life when the giant shook its arm trying to get the ant off. By this point the small giant had started to panic because the ant wasn’t getting off their arm and had called a much bigger giant to come help. The bigger giant towered over the smaller giant. And was also trying to remove the ant. And yet Alexander evaded every attempt made. Which bewildered the large giant as they had never seen an ant move with such efficiency and skill. Throwing itself further up the giant’s body, unable to be squished. From Alexander’s point of view, he was unstoppable, they were no match for his speed and skill. And he was going to make his way up to the top of that giant. Meanwhile Clark, who had been watching the whole thing, stood there in shock. Alexander had done it. He had reached the top of the giant. Clark, full of disbelief, was stunned for a moment. He had done what was seemingly impossible. Clark’s mind raced with both excitement and worry. His friend made it to the top but wanted him to be safe on the ground again as soon as possible. Clark calls up to him again.

“Okay, you did it! You climbed the giant now, please get down here before you hurt yourself!”

But Alexander wasn’t done. He had climbed the monster and now he was going to slay it. Taking up his needle he stabs it into the top of the giant’s head causing said giant to wail in pain and start running in a direction. This causes Alexander to let out a triumphant cheer.

“I’ve got them on the run now! They’re as good as dead!”

Due to his triumph Alexander chooses to not come down, and due to the giant running away it separated the two ants from one another never to be seen again. A few hours later Alexander was found by a doctor and killed. Clark made it home safely, grieving the fact that he got separated from his friend. They sent out several search parties and all came back empty. They deemed Alexander dead. However, that wasn’t the end of his story as all throughout the ant kingdom stories were sung of the warrior ant that felled a giant by himself. And through those songs Alexander lived on.