Best Things to Find in an Easter Egg A $100 bill Tickets to Coachella Another smaller egg Those little foam dinosaurs that grow in water A coupon for free tuition The fat squirrel from the fall An engagement ring Full-sized Kanye A crumpled up exam answer sheet A personalized poem written by Dean Sears
Dear Tiff and Earl, I was walking around campus today, and I can’t help but notice the fat squirrel from the fall is missing. I need to know if he survived the winter…any ideas as to where he is? Sincerely, Squirrel Enthusiast Dear squirrel enthusiast, I ate him. Tiff Dear Squirrel Enthusiast, I have it […]
Aidan Lerner ’22 Bringggg. Bringggg. Bringggg. As a unit, over eight hundred kids arose and walked toward the wing of classrooms. The full mass of the entire student body was not something which Eddie had ever taken for granted, given his claustrophobic instincts and fear of crowds. But on the list of triggering things in […]
Fiona Clarke ’23 Welcome back to “Stupid Things People Say.” This week, our topic is “Living in the State of the Obvious (And Why You Should Immigrate).” A few years ago, I was minding my own business at soccer practice, surrounded by a gaggle of chirping teenage girls, waiting in line for my turn […]
Toni Rendon ’24 Here I am standing on a hill Not at the top Just here on the hill Made up of the bodies of the kings I’ve killed Their blood trickles onto the ground Barely making a sound and washing my past in red Their crowns’ weight bowing my head Suffocating the […]
Marelle Hipolito ’22 There is wet sand stuck in my wet hair. There is wet sand stuck in my sweatshirt, and in between my toes, but I don’t care. I’m busy looking up at the night sky with you, rooting for a shooting star. Not many things have been going our way. Life […]
Artists We Should’ve Had For Spring Concert Pitbull The Rock Will Smith (ft. Chris Rock) Machine Gun Kelly Frank Sinatra (hologram version) Macklemore Doja Cat Kanye West (featuring Skeet) Travis Scott Dr. Taylor Swift Shawn Mendes (post breakup tour?) Rihanna (post hiatus tour?) Ed Sheeren My Chemical Romance Big Time Rush (without Dixie D’Amelio) (sans […]
Dear Tiff and Earl, I caught my crush and best friend making out in the broom closet at Black and White Ball this weekend. How do I emotionally recover? Insincerely, Heartbroken :( Dear Heartbroken, I must confess that your story, like a middle-aged man with Santa at the mall, does not sit right with me. […]
Caitlin Bartley ’24 Nostalgia likes to creep through the cracks in the walls And seep its way into my pores to suffocate me in my sleep. The air becomes thick with memory, a stifling heat That makes my mind hazy with hallucinations. When it enters my bloodstream, I slip into oblivion And dream of […]
Max Gilman ’25 “We use our math to create cattle. Shape this way and that, but eventually your lines will be nothing more than a man with a rifle and you, the fawn child.” Wonder if this windowed world holds something more, Peer through the dying streetlight, a window through old construction […]