Tiff and Earl

by trogers5 on April 21, 2022


Dear Tiff and Earl,

I was walking around campus today, and I can’t help but notice the fat squirrel from the fall is missing. I need to know if he survived the winter…any ideas as to where he is?


Squirrel Enthusiast

Dear squirrel enthusiast,

I ate him. 


image of tiff

Dear Squirrel Enthusiast,

I have it on good authority that the fat squirrel from the fall has not only survived the winter, but he is absolutely thriving. While all the other squirrels went into hibernation, he went to the Concannon Fitness Center. He’s lost all the extra poundage and is now training to be a member of Team USA’s track and field team for the Summer 2024 Olympics.

God bless the USA!


image of earl