by trogers5 on May 5, 2022

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Dear Tiff and Earl,

I just downloaded LinkedIn and I don’t know how to polish my resume. Please send help, so I don’t spend the rest of my life living in my mom’s basement.

Thank You In Advance, 

Jobless Senior 

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Dear Jobless Senior,

Looks like someone didn’t take “Don’t wait, Slavin 108” to heart. You’ve had four years to take advantage of this ever-helpful, high-quality service, and now, with two weeks left before graduation, you have the audacity to ask me for advice? Better get used to those basement views, buddy.

Regards,

Earl

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Dear Jobless Senior,

You are asking the wrong people. We don’t even get paid to give you advice. Luckily, I love my mom’s basement. I have trained the mice to scavenge three meals a day for me, and I am building a rocket to the moon. What more can you ask of life?

Cheers,

Tiff