by The Cowl Editor on September 29, 2022

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Worst Darty Themes 

• Groutfit
• America (during the second week of September)
• Boston Tea Darty 
• Beach 
• Denim 
• Neon 
• Tight ’n Bright 
• Blackout 
• Whiteout 
• Decades

by The Cowl Editor on September 26, 2022

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Worst Places To Show Your Parents On Parents Weekend

• Ray
• Guz
• Eaton Street 
• Communal bathrooms
• Chad Brown Street
• Where I failed my civ final 
• Radcliffe Avenue 
• Foxy Lady 
• The middle of the flame where the pee sits
• Suites 
• Any freshman male’s dorm

  

by The Cowl Editor on September 8, 2022

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Worst Things To Hear During Syllabus Week

• “We’ll start class today with a quiz/pop quiz”
• “I don’t like to give out As”
• “Okay class, let’s take out the reading!”
• “No unexcused absences”
• “We won’t have breaks during class” (it’s a marathon class)
• “The final for this class will count for over half of your grade”
• “Attendance is required for this class”
• “No tech”
• “There’s gonna be a final paper and exam”
• “Barely anybody has passed this class before”
• “I will be cold calling”
• “Participation is worth 40% of your final grade”
• “Let’s do an ice breaker”

by trogers5 on May 5, 2022

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Seniors We Will Miss Next Year <3

• AJ Worsley
• Aidan Lerner 
• Marelle Hipolito
• Grace O’Connor
• Maura Campbell
• Addison Wakelin
• Julia McCoy
• Madeline Morkin
• Madison Palmieri
• Liam Tormey
• Leo Hainline
• Lillie Hunter
• Brooke Rioux
• Colleen Joyce
• Angie Nguyen
• Nicole Patano
• All of them <3

by trogers5 on April 21, 2022

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 Best Things to Find in an Easter Egg

• A $100 bill 
• Tickets to Coachella 
• Another smaller egg
• Those little foam dinosaurs that grow in water
• A coupon for free tuition 
• The fat squirrel from the fall
• An engagement ring 
• Full-sized Kanye
• A crumpled up exam answer sheet 
• A personalized poem written by Dean Sears

by trogers5 on April 8, 2022

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Artists We Should’ve Had For Spring Concert

• Pitbull 
• The Rock 
• Will Smith (ft. Chris Rock) 
• Machine Gun Kelly 
• Frank Sinatra (hologram version)
• Macklemore 
• Doja Cat 
• Kanye West (featuring Skeet)
• Travis Scott 
• Dr. Taylor Swift 
• Shawn Mendes (post breakup tour?)
• Rihanna (post hiatus tour?) 
• Ed Sheeren 
• My Chemical Romance 
• Big Time Rush (without Dixie D’Amelio) (sans Carlos)
• R. Kelly (from prison)
• The Friar Band

by The Cowl Editor on April 8, 2022

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Artists We Should’ve Had For Spring Concert

• Pitbull 
• The Rock 
• Will Smith (ft. Chris Rock) 
• Machine Gun Kelly 
• Frank Sinatra (hologram version)
• Macklemore 
• Doja Cat 
• Kanye West (featuring Skeet)
• Travis Scott 
• Dr. Taylor Swift 
• Shawn Mendes (post breakup tour?)
• Rihanna (post hiatus tour?) 
• Ed Sheeran 
• My Chemical Romance 
• Big Time Rush (without Dixie D’Amelio) (sans Carlos)
• R. Kelly (from prison)
• The Hillbilly Thomists

by trogers5 on March 27, 2022

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Celebrities Who Should’ve Been at the Big East Tournament 

• Pete Davidson (only if he brought Kim)
• Kanye West (would he and Pete fight?)
• Dean Sears
• Timothée Chalamet 
• Nicole Patano (our fave EIC)
• Nate Watson (think he’d make a TikTok with me?)
• Big Time Rush (without their opening act)
• Dot (PC misses her greatly)
• The Cheetah Girls
• The OG Hamilton cast
• Zendaya and Tom Holland
• Beyonce and Jay Z
• Obama and Michelle
• Gordon Ramsey
• Shawn Mendes
• Taylor Swift (but only if she sang You Belong With Me)

The cast of Euphoria (especially Alexa Demie)

by trogers5 on March 3, 2022

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Professor Red Flags I Wish I Noticed Earlier in the Semester:

• No syllabus week
• Small word counts for essays (only for English/Creative Writing  majors)
• Long word counts for essays (for every other major)
• Asks for papers single-spaced
• Wants printed and digital copies
• No laptops allowed in class (they’re cutting into my online shopping time…)
• Printing out every handout for class
• Plugs their own journal articles
• Has group projects
• Cold-calls
• Gives oral exams
• Doesn’t reply to emails
• Emails too much
• Doesn’t let you use the bathroom
• Gets mad when someone uses the bathroom
• Not enough office hours
• Doesn’t take off their jacket
• Uses a chalkboard (and doesn’t mind the squeaking)
• “I don’t really give out As…”
• Doesn’t use Sakai
• Doesn’t learn anyone’s names
• Makes due dates midnight instead of 11:59 p.m.

by The Cowl Editor on February 17, 2022

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Things to do over the long weekend:

• Attempt to salvage my grades
• Take the plastic wrap off of those textbooks
• Catch up on shows I’ve missed
• Binge watch Too Hot to Handle
• Make arts and crafts
• Catch up on all of The Cowls from this semester
• Actually buy groceries to cook real food
• Finally pick up my packages
• Clean out my desk
• Try out a new TikTok trend
• Eat discounted Valentine’s Day chocolate
• Write some scathing RateMyProfessor reviews
• Book a hotel and plane tickets for spring break