Tiff and Earl

by The Cowl Editor on February 1, 2019


Dear Tiff and Earl,

Lately, I have been just so tired and stressed after class that I’ve been sleeping the whole day away. Do you have any tips on how to relax after a long day of classes without going back to sleep?

Sleeping Beauty


Dear Sleeping Beauty,

I have heard your case too many times. There is only one cure for this problem.

Step one: buy caffeine pills.
Step two: put one in your coffee.
Step three: throw the coffee in your face (hot coffee works best).
Step four: down the rest of the 24 caffeine pills and go get em!



Dear Slumped,

Clearly you’re not fully immersed in the PC experience yet! You’re not really a part of the Friar Family until you’re taking six classes, doing a work study, informally tutoring all of your roommates, on the exec board for 11 clubs, playing an intramural sport, and somehow never missing a single Thursday night out. Soon enough you’ll learn that sleeping isn’t an option, because your schedule won’t allow it! Get used to canceling dinner with yourself (again).

I’m too busy for a salutation,