Tiffany and Earl

by The Cowl Editor


Features


Kylo Ren
Photo courtesy of starwars.wikia.com

Dear Tiff and Earl,

Kylo Ren: hot or not?

Sincerely,

Definitely Not Finn

 

Dear Finn,

Ya know, if Kylo Ren was a girl, I would call him a “butter face,” or “but her face.” His body is so hot. Like sooooo hot. His face is… eh. So I guess he’s a “but his face? Can we make that a thing?

Cause man, would I be into him…but I would need to close my eyes when I was looking at his face.

All the best,

Tiff

 

Dear Traitor,

I’m leaning towards “not.” I guess I’m not that Force sensitive, or whatever. I’m a family man, so I wasn’t very excited when he killed his own father. I will admit, I have considered killing my own father. He doesn’t understand my sarcastic quest to answer the most pressing questions at Providence College. Also, he makes such a big deal over dog gender. I don’t care if your corgi is a male or female as long as I get to hug it.

Earl

*This is a satirical column that does not reflect the views of Providence College or The Cowl.