Tiffany and Earl

by The Cowl Editor on October 19, 2017


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Dear Tiff and Earl,

Is it proper for women to be learned?


Sir Clement Pickleton VII


No. Stay as undereducated as possible.

No education = no job = a great excuse for a guy to pay for all your drinks (even after you’re 21).

Also, men are intimidated by smart women, so if you want a guy to notice you on Eaton Street, dress skimpy in 32 degree weather, act dumb, and pucker up.

Dress well, but you don’t need to be smart to do that.

All the love,

Tiff Tiff


Dear Mr. Pickle,

Learned women are much more useful to us men. Men only need to be learned in maintaining the patriarchy and deferring all work to the fairer sex. That way, we can stick to what’s really important: yelling at grown men running around on painted grass with an inflated pigskin.